April 2014 Loot Crate: Dragons

Thanks to Loot Crate, here be dragons!
Technically "here be dragons" is used on a map where presumed dangers lurk, but you're safe here, don't worry.

Many fellow Looters were excited when it was announced the April 2014 Crate theme was going to be dragons. We speculated that we'd be getting some Game of Thrones and/or Skyrim stuff and we weren't disappointed (at least I wasn't).
Let's sneak a peek at the treasure horde...

As always, we'll start with the monthly magazine which features a dragon sitting atop a Throne of Loot Crates and wearing an Iron Helmet. There's a four page article about the history and folklore behind dragons from around the world. Next is an interview with YouTuber "Panser", or as you may know her, Danielle from season one of King of the Nerds. I will always remember her because she boasted about her video game knowledge and missed a question about said topic because it was something that came before PlayStation. Know your roots, kids! There's also a fun little game where you have to match Game of Thrones banners to their Houses.

The magazine is still just a bit wider than the Crate box so it can't lay flat in the box. This presents an issue for the typical geek who can get obsessed about something seemingly insignificant like a slight bend in their magazine.




Another monthly staple is the exclusive pin in each Crate. This one has a dragon curled around an old school Loot Crate: a treasure chest. To help slay your dragons in the working world, they include a squishy d20 stress toy. And to slay the dragons in your weekly RPG session, a standard d20. Although I suppose you could use the over-sized bright orange d20 at the table too. Just be careful where you roll it!



Next is a trio of dragony items:

• A Dragon Shield screen cleaner for your monitor/mobile device.
• A Dragon Slayer dog tag with 63 "kill" hash marks.
• Dragon Jerky!

Now, you can't tell as much in the photo but this stuff is green and looks more like a fungus than jerky. Of course I had to try some to be able to give a good review, right? I don't think I've ever had jerky before so I don't have anything to judge it against. But I will say I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't taste anything like it looks. It's pretty tasty! I imagine dragon meat it pretty pricey and you probably have to know a guy who knows a guy that you have to meet at midnight on a full moon in an alley somewhere to buy it, so this sample will have to be enough for a lifetime.



This Skyrim Nord figure is something exclusively made just for Loot Crate. I know very little about Skyrim except for what I've gleaned from memes like the infamous "arrow to the knee." Hey, no geek can experience it all! This little guy is just under 3". He's sporting the famous Iron Helmet, an ax and a sword, all of which are removable. I almost threw away the sword and ax because I didn't realize they were in the silver bag the figure came in and he would have been defenseless.



And finally we have a Funko Game of Thrones Mystery Mini of the least hated Lannister, Tyrion. It took me a couple minutes to figure out who he was supposed to be. Without any other figures next to him I didn't realize how short he was at first. And I'm more used to seeing him with his face scarred. Funko has been doing an amazing job with their Mystery Mini series, I just don't understand why they'd short pack popular characters, well, other than to make you buy more! Daeneyrs is only 1/24. And poor Khal Drogo is only 1/72!

Big thanks to the team at Loot Crate for continuing to send me cool stuff every month to share with my readers. If you want to subscribe, head on over here and used the code AEIOUWHY for 10% your order. It's guaranteed at least $40 value!