Sep 30, 2014

Monthly Movie Recap - September 2014

A day early because tomorrow starts the annual Countdown to Halloween!

This month's flicks start off on the lower end of the scale and get better as we go along. If you feel the need to own any of these gems, clicking on the link will take you to Amazon and help support the site.

The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story (2014)
I"m not going to waste a lot of keystrokes on this. If you're a Bell fan, there's probably no talking you out of watching this, but you can't say you weren't warned.

Rating: 4/10

Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)
You know a horror series is getting long in the tooth when they go urban (or to space). After the last two, I wasn't expecting much, but this one's got some good gore thanks to Screaming Mad George. Where the previous ones fell apart at the end because of the effects, this one manages to at least get into the "so bad it's good" area.

Cool: Cornthulhu! Some interesting kills
Lame: The child villain isn't sinister looking enough; If Attack of the Killer Tomatoes has taught us anything, it's that murderous plants/veggies can't be taken seriously
Rating: 5/10

Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (1996)
And we're back to a really bad movie. I honestly don't know how they keep turning these out...or why I keep insisting to myself that I have to watch the whole series.

Cool: Naomi Watts & Karen Black
Lame: Not even a passing mention of He Who Walks in this one.
Rating: 3/10

Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (1998)
And here the series becomes a fairly rote with teens looking to party getting hacked up. Poorly developed characters, poorly written story, poor me for making myself watch another one!

Cool: Hey look, Eva Mendes
Lame: Who would have made a much better Final Girl that the forgettable one we're given.
Rating: 4/10, at least we're back to He Who Walks, so it's a little better than the last one

Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return
Supposedly a direct sequel to the original with Isaac somehow surviving. The plot is needlessly complicated, there's lots of confusing visions and prophecy talk and worst (for me) is that they don't seem to play by the cult rules of dying at 18.

Cool: I don't think I have anything nice to say about this one
Lame: How does Isaac even have a daughter? I don't think he was even old enough in the first movie to make a baby.
Rating: 3/10, I think this one may kill the series for me. I'm skipping the next one and going right to the reboot.

Duran Duran - Unstaged (2011)
Caught this for the "one night only" theatrical showing. The band, the musical guests, and music were all fantastic. David Lynch's directing, on the other hand, has made sure I will never willingly watch this again. It's in black and white/sepia, which is fine. But I don't think there is a single frame of the film that doesn't have at least one layer of non-concert imagery over it. The imposed visuals range from WTF to laugh out loud, such as a synchronized chorus line of mostly nude Barbie dolls to another scene with someone beating a spatula on a wiener filled grill. If you watch the video above, keep your eyes on the top left screen which is showing what I saw.

Rating: 9/10 (music), 2/10 (Lynch). Overall would have visually been much better in color and void of Lynch's fever dreams.

The Specials (2000)
Never knew this movie existed until the Cult Film Club podcast covered it. It's a comedy about the day to day of being in the 6th or 7th most popular supergroup and how the members interact with each other. Low on flash but high on character.

Cool: Plenty of people you'll recognize; there are plenty of memorably funny scenes
Lame: U.S. Bill can get a little annoying
Rating: 7/10, absolutely worth a watch if you're a comic fan

The King of Arcades (2014)
A documentary following one man's dream to run a classic arcade. If you love 80s video game culture, you need to see this. It also crosses over a little into the King of Kong world.

Cool: So. Many. Video games! The dedication of the people involved is amazing. Co-Produced by Adam Goldberg (TVs "The Goldbergs") Polybius!
Lame: Seeing what has happened to some of these machines since their heyday might break your gamer heart.
Rating: 8/10

Sex Kittens Go to College (1960, uncut version)
Yes, the title makes it sound like an exploitation sleaze fest, but it's not...mostly. It's more of a sex comedy (1960s sex comedy, mind you) with a beach movie level of humor. There are two versions of it though. The uncut version that I saw has about 10 minutes of strip tease/topless dancing, which feels totally out of place. Especially since the sequence is supposed to be happening in a robot's dream!

Cool: Mamie Van Doren; Vampira has a bit part; Conway Twitty(?!); The robot Elektro (even though he doesn't do much)
Lame: What plot there is is really silly. It involves a robot that can predict winning lottery numbers and race horses, gangsters that want to steal him and a sexy new professor who isn't what she seems
Rating: 5/10, not a great movie by any stretch, but a good enough piece of fluff

Month Total
 New: 9  Rewatch: 0

Year To-Date Final Total 
New: 79 (+1 incomplete)  Rewatch: 14


  1. Holy Children of The Corn marathon!

    1. There was nothing holy about this. I started the series last month and just after the second one, I needed a break. I tried to finish it off but I can't take anymore. I'm just skipping over 7 and going right to the reboot.