You may remember almost exactly a month ago I posted about some very cool vinyl figures I got from Dead Bear Studios aka @motorbot on Twitter. Ever since I received Pumpkin and Batty they just weren't as happy as I thought they would be. They've been moping around the play room while all the other toys were playing well together. And then the psychic messages started.
It took me awhile to figure out I wasn't going crazy (or crazier, your choice) and figure out just where these messages were coming from. After donning the Psychic Divination Helmet (tin foil) I was lead back to Dead Bear Studios and the source of psychic mewling: Hellcat. Turns out she was missing her friends Pumpkin and Batty and her psychic sadness was altering their moods as well.
I sent my own psychic message inviting her to come rejoin her friends and she asked if she could bring her pet goober along. (Dead Bear had a special Twitter sale offering a free random figure with any purchase.) Not wanting to keep this trio apart any longer, I quickly agreed and they hopped in the first box they could find.
ROM and I go way back so I'll be referring to him by first name only and not by his full title: ROM, the Space Knight.
When I started to pile together subjects for these Toys of Christmas posts, I never intended to focus on such a small time frame (very late 70s/early 80s) or electronic toys only. I took a leisurely stroll down memory lane and captured the most memorable things. It just so happens they all fall in that magic time of the Dawn of Electronic Toys.
ROM was game company Parker Brothers first and only foray into the realm of action figures, electronic or otherwise. This is somewhat ironic as PB is now owned by Hasbro (formerly Kenner) who have been on the defining edge of action figures for decades. PB smartly sold the character rights to Marvel Comics and as ROM quickly faded into toy nostalgia-ville, the comic went on for a seven year run.
The toy was my first introduction to ROM. I wouldn't see him in comic form until a few years later when he got mixed up in Secret Wars 2. The beauty of this is that without being based on pre-existing media, ROM was totally new to me. There were no preconceived notions in my little head about how I could play with him or for that matter, what he was exactly. Was he a robot or a guy in space armor? What exactly did it mean that his Neutralizer could banish creatures into the Shadow Zone?
While not very articulated, ROM had LED lights, multiple sounds and three different accessories you could plug into him. Don't know why they decided to give him glowing red eyes and a creepy breathing sound, though. I imagine at least one lad somewhere used it to scare a sibling in the dark. The site ROM Spaceknight Revisited has digitized all his sounds and is also a great resource for all things ROM (2021 update - the site no longer exists). How sweet would ROM's translator be as a ring tone?
If you want to get to know ROM a lot better, check out this 10 minute video.
MB electronics strikes again with a futuristic, programmable tank!
Big Trak originally rolled out in 1979 in two color schemes: grey (US) and white (UK). Even though I grew up with the grey version, the white version look like it belongs in the same universe as Star Bird. By using the built in keypad, you could program Big Trak to perform a series of actions that include moving forward or backward, turning, and firing it's photon cannon. I know, it may not sound exciting by today's standards, but having a programmable toy at that time was pretty cutting edge. What? Stop laughing.
The "fun" came from trying to work out the exact program instructions to get Big Trak to maneuver around your house without getting stuck. You could only program a maximum of 16 commands. However, the move forward/backward command worked in units from 1-99 (one unit = one vehicle length, about 13"). So one command could tell it to move forward 99 units or about 107 feet! In theory anyway. I guess if you were using it outside that would be viable. In addition to household objects, Big Trak's other mortal enemy was tiled or wooden floors. Slick surfaces tend to cause the tank to go in less than a straight line and overshoot turn commands. One small deviation from your programmed route was usually a recipe for disaster.
Big Trak had one produced accessory which was a trailer. There was a button labeled "out" you could include in your program that would cause the trailer to tilt back and drop its contents. It wasn't very useful and by the time you got the programming figured out, you could have brought said object where it needed to go multiple times.
Don't buy the hype!
There was also the mysterious "in" button that was to be used in a future accessory which was only mentioned in the user manual and never produced.
Of course this lumbering behemoth (or technological terror *wink*wink*) found its way into my Imperial army and was frequently deployed to attempt to crush Rebel Alliance bases across the galaxy.
Big Trak has quite an online fan community and has recently made a return both in original size and a Jr. desktop size. The Jr., despite being scaled down, sports more features. Who knew technology would advance in 30 years? It can hold up to 32 commands, even storing favorite routines, and has a peripheral port on top that can hold a digital camera or a mini foam rocket launcher. There is also an adapter that will allow you to use the Jr. peripherals with the regular size re-released version.
Just around the late 70s/early 80s electronics started making their mark on board games. In 1981, Milton Bradley released probably the most ambitious and impressive electronic board game to date: Dark Tower.
The object of the game was to travel to from your home kingdom to each of the three surrounding kingdoms and locate each of the three Magic Keys that would allow you and your army to enter the Dark Tower, battle the Brigands within and restore order to the land.
But this game was no walk through yon meadow. While on your quest you had to do a fair amount of inventory management, which was carried out using the punch card and Battleship like pegs shown above, bottom left. The size of your army (max 99) determines how much gold you can have (6 bags per Warrior) and how much food you need to feed them. That's right, you have to worry about keeping your troops fed in this game or they start dying!
The top of the Tower houses a cylinder with three rows of images. The cylinder would spin to align the correct image with the dark plastic window and would be back lit so you could see the image. That didn't sound as helpful as I thought it might. Maybe Orson Welles can make it clearer for you...
One of the neat aspects of the game was that each player would sit in front their home kingdom and the Tower (which showed game play information and controlled pretty much everything) would be rotated to face each player during their turn so they were the only one that could see it. Of course, if you were familiar with the game sounds, you had an idea what was happening.
And perhaps the coolest thing about the game is that because the Tower acted as your Dungeon Master, you could play the game solo...which I did. A lot! Playing a game with a legit solitaire mode was much more fun than sadly playing the game against yourself and trying to act like different people...not that I ever did that.
Thanks to this game, for the longest time, I never knew brigand was another word for bandit.
I wonder why that was....
Are they Aliens? Monsters? What??
The artwork in the game is something else that really cemented this game in my brain. It was done by illustrator Bob Pepper, who also did the MB card game Dragon Master as well as quite a few book covers. Well of Souls, a Dark Tower fan site, did a brief interview with him which you can read here.
I've barely touched on the details of the game but instead I'll drop some links for you in case you want to learn more about it or revisit your childhood.
The previously mentioned Well of Souls fan site also delves into the Dragon Master card game and other incarnations of Dark Tower.
Hot Flash Games has a single player Flash version of the game.
If you've never played before, be sure to read the rules!
When I sat down to plan out the posts for a trip down Christmas memory lane I
was surprised to find MB (Milton Bradley) Electronics was behind a few of the
items I wanted to talk about. They were doing something right!
First up is the spaceship Star Bird.
You'll have to crank the volume for this ad.
Don't forget to turn your volume back down!
This was one of the few spaceship toys that came out after Star Wars that really
stood out to me even as someone barely into double digits. So much so that a few
years ago I got way too excited and jumped at an online auction for two of them
along with an original TIE Fighter that looked like it was recovered from Yavin
IV after the Death Star battle. I was more than a little disappointed when I
received them because even between the two of them you couldn't put together a
complete ship. That and they were nasty dirty! But I did turn them around on
eBay for a small profit.
Anyway, this is supposed to be all Christmas and childhood....This thing was
pretty cool! In addition to the ascending/descending engine sounds and light
up "laser cannons" it had multiple ways to play with it thanks to two
detachable main body pieces: the cockpit and the main engine.
The first configuration is the Star Bird itself, which is as it's pictured
above. Second is the Star Bird Fighter which consists of the cockpit (you can
see where it comes apart just above the 'windows') attached to the main
engine. Third is the Star Bird Orbiter which was the main body only with the
cockpit section removed.
On top of that, those gray things sticking up off the wings are interceptor
fighters that can slide right off the wing to engage an enemy. And there's a
laser turret/escape pod. It's that round area in the back of the ship. Although,
if I were putting an escape pod in a ship, I'd probably put it closer to the
crew area!
There were two more ships and a command base in the Star Bird line. None of
which I remember seeing in stores. I absolutely would have been wanting these as
much as I loved the original ship.
Star Bird has quite a few detachable and easy to lose pieces which can make it
difficult to find a complete one nowadays.
That is: Here are a couple oddities I picked up on the internet years ago. I've been trying to track down the album they came from because I'd love to have a whole album like this!
Well, it's finally here, the last day of Creepmas!
First, I want to thank some people:
Chad Savage/Cult of the Great Pumpkin for being the black powder to my spark, creating the Creepmas site and getting the word out that this was a thing.
Tom Krohne, who immediately starting whipping up Creepmas badges the moment he heard of it. He has the heart of a monster. Whether it's in his chest or a jar of formaldehyde is anyone's guess.
The 50+ bloggers that jumped on this crazy bandwagon in the short time it's been rolling.
And if you're not one of them, thank you for reading!
You have to admit, just over 50 participants is pretty good for the First Creepmas. Whether or not any of you come back next year (oh, there will be a next year!) you hold a special place in history, wear it proudly! If I had the money, I'd get shirts or trophies made for all of you.
With that, I humbly place upon the Creepmas altar the final offering of the season.
And apologies if someone else posted it...so much to keep track of!
A Merry Monster Christmas is another fun novelty album from around 1964.
Click below to dump out the rest of your bloody stocking...
If you were a kid in the 70s, you may be familiar with Peter Pan Records. They produced a lot of children's novelty albums as well as some ever popular read-along book sets. In 1974 they released Monster Christmas Mash. This album of skits and songs tells a story of various monsters trying to cheer up a sad Frankenstein.
Although it's called Monster Christmas Mash, it's in no way related to Bobby "Boris" Pickett or his Creepmas tune Monster's Holiday.
Click on the image above if you've been an extra bad ghoul this year
Let's face it, the holiday season can be hectic. You might be just this close to losing your mind. Here's the albums that can help! Help you finishing losing your mind!
If you feel you just don't have enough Cthulhu in your Cthristmas (and who doesn't?), you'll want to head over to the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society's Solstice page.
There you can order their cds: A Very Scary Solstice and An Even Scarier Solstice to speed up that rush to holiday insanity.You can also download sheet music and listen to samples of some of the songs. If you know your Deep Ones from your Byakhees, these are a pair of Horroday albums you don't want to miss!
And while visiting the HPLHS, don't forget to check out their page for Shoggoth on the Roof, a Fiddler on the Roof parody.
What would Creepmas be without a mention of The Grinch?
If you're a regular reader of my blog, you probably know that the voices of The Grinch and the announcer for this holiday treat were done by none other than the legendary Boris Karloff. What you may not know is the voice behind the title song is another legendary man, Thurl Ravenscroft.
Ravenscroft's biggest claim to fame is the original voice of Tony the Tiger. He was also a member of a singing group called The Mellomen. In addition to having songs in some Disney movies, the group also did backing vocals for the likes of Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney. He can also be heard in a couple of the Disney park's most famous attractions: Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion. In the Haunted Mansion, his image is seen on one of the singing busts in the graveyard named Uncle Theodore.
So there's your lesson for the day. Hope you learned something and as your reward, here's some covers of You're a Mean One Mr Grinch. I now have to chase down all these other versions!
Today we swing the blood red and gory green spotlight on George Van Orsdel's Monster Spookshow Radio. Whew, that's a mouthful! GVO puts out shows/podcasts/digital mix tapes,call it what you will, all year round that are horror or sci-fi related. But for this time of year, he always puts together something special.
I don't know if there will be a 2011 Cryptmas special but you can click the image below to go to his page and grab the previous three years worth of shows. He also does some great artwork for every show using vintage monster magazine covers.
It's worth checking out the rest of his shows as well, I've been introduced to a lot of cool bands from these shows.
Originally released in 2000, Robert Devereaux's Santa Steps Out is most certainly a book you'll never forget reading. Whether it's throwing it down in disgust, needing to bleach your brain after reading it or because you're a twisted individual, like myself, that really enjoys such things.
This is one seriously twisted tale! It's like Clive Barker writing a Dear Penthouse letter. I couldn't possibly give you a better summary than this one from Amazon:
"(Santa) His generosity is legendary. He has a devoted wife, a crack team of sky-borne reindeer, hordes of industrious elves, and the love of good little boys and girls around the globe. But what unholy desires now propel him into the lascivious clutches of a certain fairy? And who was he before the sleigh and workshop, in times forgotten?
(Tooth Fairy) She munches on molars, summons drowned sailors to her pleasure, and recalls, sharp as a pinprick, her life as the most savage of ash nymphs. Why then is she stuck, night after night, hovering above pillows to leave coins for gap-toothed brats? More important, how quickly can she captivate the jolly old elf to the north?
(Easter Bunny) He's huge, fluffy, lonesome, and unbearably horny. On his Easter rounds, he contrives, as often as possible, to get a grip on himself and peer into interesting bedrooms. But who in the world will throw him down and ravage him as the lovers under his gaze ravage one another?"
So there's kind of a love (or lust) triangle between Mrs Clause, Santa and the Tooth Fairy. And Tooth Fairy also has a thing with the Easter Bunny...If you couldn't tell, this one's for the Naughty list and even some adults may find it too perverse. You can't tell from all the sexy talk but there's also some horrific/violent things going on as well. Seriously, I can't even express to you what you're in for with this one.
If you visit DisneyLand between the end of September and January, you may be lucky enough to experience the Haunted Mansion Holiday where Jack Skellington and crew take over the Haunted Mansion. This is one of those bucket list things that I really want to see someday. Favorite Disney ride + Favorite non-sci-fi Disney movie = awesome!
I've been to Disney World many times during the holiday season
But Jack doesn't like Florida for some reason.
And so unfortunately,
I must experience it virtually.
You can spoil yourself silly and read all about it here
Or you can watch a ride-thru
And you can listen to the songs which are frightfully perfect for celebrating Creepmas!
Click it
Be sure to check out the other bloggers with Creepmas cheer at the home page.
In Alline countries, December 5th is Saint Nicholas Eve and also Krampus Eve. Krampus is a mythical, devilish creature that is a companion/servant of Santa Claus. It is he, not Santa, that you have to worry about if you've not been good throughout the year.
For whatever reason, Krampus never made his way into our Santa/Christmas mythos, where the worst threat kids hear is that Santa won't bring them presents. Krampus would throw bad children in his sack and then maybe toss them in a river. Of course, this would never fly in today's overly P.C. times.
You can always find neat Krampus stuff on eBay or Etsy
"Today, the running of the Krampus (Krampuslauf) happens during the first week of December throughout Austria and Hungary. Young men dress in dark animal-skin suits, red carved masks with horns or antlers, mismatched shoes, often carrying bells, chains, whips, and baskets with them. Considerable effort goes into the manufacture of the hand-crafted masks, as many younger adults in rural communities engage competitively in the Krampus event. They are often accompanied by St. Nicholas and can be found in parades in the evening. They usually scare children and chase women to whip them (gently) as it is part of the tradition. The anonymity provided by the Krampus mask combined with increasing amounts of alcohol consumption is not only feeding the craziness but also a debate about this bizarre pagan holdover from a less civilized era."1
Kinda sounds like fun to me! But if going to Salem on Halloween has taught me anything, it's that idiots will use any excuse to get drunk and ruin a good time for everyone else.
Mister Reusch is a local artist and all around cool dude. Not only is he an illustration teacher at the Massachusetts College of Art, he co-founded Black Cat Burlesque, a Boston area horror burlesque troupe that I've seen on numerous occasions.
He's got a unique, instantly identifiable art style. Even if I haven't met him at unusual events, I'd be pimping his art. It's just that good. Head over to his Etsy shop and check out his available prints. There's some "regular" Christmas designs, a few with Krampus and he's got some wonderful Halloween prints to boot. And if you happen to love French bulldogs, you've found you're artist!
Hold on to your scarves and mittens, kids! We're setting the Wayback Machine to 1986!
For a short time back then, the deed to DC Comics House of Mystery passed to the one and only Elvira, Mistress of the Dark for 11 issues and one Christmas special.
In the opening story, she has her own Christmas Carol experience with her usual brand of humor. Following that are three holiday tales sure to warm the cockles of your little Creepmas heart. Whatever cockles are....
Be sure to visit the other blogs spreading the Creepmas cheer!
Frosty the Gourdman is a twist on the familiar tale we all know. In this story, Frosty is made from pumpkins and comes to life in a pumpkin patch on Halloween night. The book was released in October 2010 and as soon as I found out about it, I had to own it. I don't want to spoil the story but it's a heartwarming tale of a young girl and the monster she befriends. Almost like that one part in Frankenstein, except Frosty doesn't kill this little girl.
Here's a little trailer for the book
Frosty the Gourdman was an
empty hollow soul
With a pumpkin head, eyes glowing red,
and a heart as black as coal.
Frosty the Gourdman was a
scary tale they say
And the children know
when the fall wind blows
he will come for them one day.
It may be Creepmas eve, but I'm still stuck in Halloween mode!
Ah, who am I kidding?
I'm always in Halloween mode...
Back in October, I discovered Dead Bear Studios through someone sharing his link in my Twitter feed. He has some cuddly and creepy vinyl figures for sale on his site. I finally broke down and bought a couple when they went on sale and they arrived recently. I really liked what I saw online (obviously or I wouldn't have put down money) but seeing them in person, they are so much cooler than I expected!
LEGO mad scientist included for scale
First up is Pumpkin. I have a thing for pumpkin-headed people so this guy was on my Must Have list. The colors on him are great. The green is a perfect shade of eerie. Head and shoulders are articulated.
Next up is Batty. I had a hard time choosing between him and another one called Gargoyle. Gargoyle uses the same body but has a single large eye instead. The "fur" is done with great effect on him. Photos don't do this one justice, it's so freakin cute in person! The head and wings are articulated.
If you're looking for a unique gift for the monster lover on your Creepmas list, go check out the Dead Bear Studios store. You can follow the their mad creator on Twitter at @motorbot
Also got my order from Playmobil yesterday. I would have missed out on this guy had it not been for Shawn Robare (@smurfwreck) posting a pic of him on Twitter. I searched my local stores (no luck!) then eBay for him. And while eBay prices weren't too bad, buying him from Playmobil directly was the best deal.
He's simply called "Hooded Ghost." The main body and boots are similar to the previous Ghost Pirate figure. His "hair" under the hood appears to be a chain mail coif instead of hair, which adds a little something different. The bones and face glow in the dark. And how about that battle ax?
And because I usually can't justify spending more on shipping than a single item, these two Halloween sets found their way into my cart as well. Since Playmobil was having a 50% sale on them, it was too hard to pass up. I'll let you in on a little secret...I already have these figures. They are destined to be given away on the blog at some point!
This 1984 ad is obviously trying to cash in on Star Wars. The spaceships are generic enough, but there's no mistaking that "small moon" in the upper left.
I've had this ad for awhile and just now figured out it's one of those fiber optic wand things and not a flashlight that looks like a blue "personal massager" with a red cap.
In site news, this is my 101st post since starting the blog in July and we are less than 100 away from 5000 visitors! I know I picked up a lot of visitors in October and I know some were only here for the Countdown to Halloween. So, if you're reading this, thanks for being a regular visitor!
Gives a whole new meaning to light side and dark side
Just wanted to take a quick moment and wish my US followers a happy and safe Thanksgiving. Don't dwell on what you don't have but celebrate the things you do!
Also, Playmobil is having a 50% Holiday sale on select items now through Nov 28th. Included in the sale are 4 of their Halloween figures that come in a plastic pumpkin. These are a super deal at 50%! While there, be sure to check out 4694 - Hooded Ghost.
Muppet Domination starts today! With all the glowing reviews I've read about the Muppet Movie I'm about as excited as could be to hopefully see it this weekend.
To continue on with our Muppetational posts this week, here's a few of my favorite Muppets. I can't bring myself to do something so callous as rank them in any kind of order.
Favorite Non-English Speaking: Swedish Chef
This is also one of my favorite skits ever. I don't know what it is about Pancho Villa lobsters, but I love em!
Favorite Not a Shrimp: Pepe (Pepino Rodrigo Serrano Gonzales) the King Prawn
Maybe I just have a thing for crustacean Muppets with accents, okay? Although a relative newcomer from 1996, Pepe became a quick favorite.
Favorite Creepy Muppet: Uncle Deadly (aka The Phantom of the Muppet Show)
He hasn't had much screen time, but what he has had always leave me wanting more.
Favorite Musical Muppet: Marvin Suggs
Hitting things on the head with humorous effect = comedy gold
Favorite Weirdo/Stuntman: Gonzo
How can you not love Gonzo? He always puts himself out there, emotionally and physically.
It's probably pretty safe to say you know there's a new Muppet Movie coming out. Well, allow me to let you in on a little secret: I love the Muppets. So what better time to do a few posts on the most influential pop culture characters to come out of your television?
Some people may divide the Muppets into the Sesame Street gang and the Muppet Show/Movies gang. Not me. A Muppet is a Muppet is a Muppet! But for today, I'm takin it to the Street.
Last year I got the above book and it really gave me a whole new level of love and respect for everyone involved. A lot of people grew up with Sesame Street and much like Doctor Who or Star Wars, you usually gravitate towards the first version you were exposed to. In reading this book I got to know the new gang that had moved into my old neighborhood as well as get reacquainted with some old friends. It's very interesting to see the evolution of the show.
Over the years, the show has tackled some heavy stuff for such a young audience, from the passing of Mr Hooper to introducing an HIV-positive Muppet. The book also shows how the show is tweaked around the world to better reflect the viewing country's culture. Some countries do their own co-productions creating something that would be both familiar and new to long time US viewers. After reading the book, there is no doubt in my mind that Sesame Street is the single most important television program. Ever.
There are too many skits to even start paring them down to a list of favorites, so here's a few that may bring back some memories...
It's really amazing just how much fighting knowledge was available to comic book readers over the years. You'd think with a few decades behind us that comic geeks would have evolved into lethal, jock-crushing, self-defense machines by now. With "no dull study or training" how could anyone pass up learning these secrets?
And seriously, dude in the ad, if you have green hair you gotta expect someone's going to want to kick your ass. I mean, you're just asking for it.
If you watched Bugs Bunny a lot you may recall the episode "Hare Brush." Well, maybe not by name...You have to be pretty hardcore to remember the names of the episodes! But in this short, Elmer, due to "a clear case of rabbitschenia," takes on Bugs' personality and Bugs, due to hypnosis, takes on Elmer's personality.
This is the short that gave us the memorable line "I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht." So of course upon seeing the below comic panel, Ol' Bugs is immediately what sprang to mind.
And if you haven't seen it, or just want to see it again....
Last week, io9 posted a cool article about My Robot Nation, a company that makes ceramic toy robots along the same lines as the blind-boxed vinyl art toys you may have seen. You may be wondering what sets them apart from all the other companies. Well, you get to design your own robot! You read that correctly! You design your very own robot!
In a process that will be familiar to any MMORPG player, you customize all the aspects of your dream robot online. You choose the style of head, torso, arms and legs as well as the colors. You can even use a color wheel if the default palettes don't have exactly what you want. I hear you say "Wow, that sounds amazing!" But wait! There's more!
Body part selection
Yes! More customization! There are all kinds of doodads you can size, rotate and place on your robot...all kinds of robot-y things like buzzsaws, rayguns and hats! What do you mean those aren't robot-y? And on top of that there are stamps (like dials, rust spots, hearts and numbers) you can add. The options are almost limitless. Oh and did I mention you can get it created in 2", 3", 4", 5" or 6" sizes? Even with all the options in front of you, the size is the only factor that changes the cost.
Just look at all those tabs along the top!
Holy cow! More tabs!!
The main My Robot Nation site has photo galleries, a dev blog and a place to vote on customer creations. There's a couple of comic book inspired creations in there, pretty funny.
This site is going to become a major time sink for me. I spend waaay too long in MMOs customizing my characters. I can (and have) spent hours tweaking a design to get it just right. One thing I have noticed with the site is there doesn't seem to be a way to save a "work in progress" and that annoys me a bit as someone that likes to fine tune the details. The cost will prevent me from creating a robot army too quickly but I don't know if that's good or bad.
To find out more (and get a 20% off code good until 11/21) head over to io9. The whole process is something I find pretty amazing. It's like living in the future!
I logged in quick this morning to play around with it for about 10 minutes. As I was cycling through the heads, the design of this one just screamed Creature from the Black Lagoon at me. I still have some tweaking I want to do to make it more Creature-y before I commit to have it created. The vent on the chest is the only accessory I added to it so far, an attempt to reproduce the Creature's underbelly scales in robot form.
Ah, nothing says late 60s/early 70s like peace blacklight posters and incense.
It also says, I enjoy smoking things that are not cigarettes or cigars...
It doesn't help their case that the company is named after Gandalf, a fictional wizard that enjoyed a good pipe now and then..
It states the 88 posters are miniatures, but how small are they that you get 88 for 65 cents? They've gotta be sticker size, since you can put them on your bike, books, or letters.
"They're perfect for decorating all your things with meaning."
Can I, like, only put them on things with meaning to me already or, like, am I giving things meaning by attaching them?
If you order now you get a groovy (their words not mine) 32 page catalog of jewelry, incense, patches, light machines (what's a light machine? Lava lamp? One of those traffic light room lights?), posters and inflatables. Inflatables? What kind of business are you running here?
"Experience some of the world's most exciting and exotic incense"
Strawberry? Coconut? PINE?! When did Pine become exotic?
With your order you also get a porcelain burner and an "informative guidebook on the history and proper uses of incense."
I'm just changing things up here left and right, don't mind me. Famous Last Words Friday are now Friday Funnies. There will still be some Famous Last Words posted, in case anyone misses them. Truth is, I don't have a whole lot of them left right now so I figured I'd throw some random comic panels into the Friday mix too.
