Monthly Movie Recap - November 2018

Wow I can't believe it's December already! It's like once November hits, the rest of the year goes into hyperdrive. December first kicks off the 13 Days of Creepmas and as you can see, I put up my decorations a day early. Stay tuned for some wicked winter holiday goodness.

Streaming

Not much going on this month, just catching up on the latest season of Voltron. Still haven't had a chance to get into Sabrina yet but I'm dying to see it!

Suspiria (1977)

I watched this awhile back and just didn't feel like I "got" it. Everyone raves about it so I thought I must have missed something. Maybe with a few more years of horror appreciation under my belt I'd see something I didn't before. Turns out, I had it right the first time. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate parts of it like how gorgeous a film it is. The ending is fantastic but I found the first two acts boring. The soundtrack is great...on its own. Most of the time during the movie I feel like someone is playing death metal at 11 while I'm trying to read in the library. I know they're going for a nightmare experience but unlike Elm Street, I'll take all the Hypnocil I can to stay awake for this one.

Rating: 5/10

Phenomena, aka Creepers (1985, Prime)

I don't understand how (a) you come up with this story and (b) how you convince anyone that it's worth making into a movie. I was thinking it would maybe be like Carrie but with bugs instead of telekinesis. Nope! I can't even begin to explain all the levels of crazy going on in this thing. I have to review my lists for the year but this is a strong contender for worst movie of the year.

Rating: 2/10

It (1990)
After seeing the remake I wanted to go back and finally see the original but I was worried an almost 30 year old version wouldn't keep my attention. Happy to say I was wrong about that! I really enjoyed the flashback storytelling. My two biggest problems with It are that they kids are acting circles around the adults and the casting of John-Boy for the lead. Maybe it's him, maybe it's that terrible pony tail, either way he never fit the role for me.

Rating: 7/10

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
The remaining members of the band were involved in making the movie so I have no problem with the studio deciding to make a great story over something 100% historically accurate. And that's what this is, an amazing story instead of a straight documentary. If you even kind of sort of like Queen or just know the hits, this is absolutely worth your time!

Rating: 8/10

Death Race 4: Beyond Anarchy (2018, Netflix)
I've been digging this new Death Race series even though it's quite a bit different from the original I love so much. They crank things up in this installment giving you more boobs and blood which makes it a wicked B-movie ride! Although this is part 4, don't feel like you need to see the first 3, there's enough exposition to get you up to speed. Not the biggest fan of the main dude. He just looks like he should be a romance novel cover model...or a porn star. Maybe both, I don't judge.

Rating: 7/10, this is what I expect from a Death Race movie

Cam (2018, Netflix)

I'm all in when it comes to Blumhouse, so this was a no-brainer. I enjoyed it but really feel like it's a couple of rewrites away from an amazing episode of Black Mirror. The reason behind what happens in the movie isn't explored much which is where the movie dips a little toe into Black Mirror territory and decides not to jump in. After everything we see her go through, I need a why. That aside, Madeline Brewer does a fantastic job in the lead.

Rating: 6.5/10, it's not what I really wanted it to be but it's worth checking out.

The Christmas Chronicles (2018, Netflix)
We fired this up Thanksgiving night. It was cute if a bit by the book plot wise. I can see the kiddos getting into it and it making its way into family holiday "must see" rotations every year. Russell's Santa is everything in this movie and I can't praise the writers enough for making him something different.

Rating: 6/10, I prefer my Christmas movies to have serial killers, zombies, or Krampus. I'm old fashioned like that.

Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018)
When I saw the first trailers I was worried this was going to be a 90 minute promo for other Disney properties. Not only is that a small part of the movie but the scene with the Princesses turned out to be one of the highlights for me. I'm glad we get to visit these characters again and see them interact with a new world. I love the way the Internet is represented. There are some wonderful themes of friendship and growing up. It may not have the emotional punch of a Pixar flick but it might just poke you a little bit.

Rating: 8/10

There's still quite a few good movies coming out before the end of the year.

What are you hoping to see?

Month Total

New: 7  Rewatch: 1

Year Total

New: 70  Rewatch:5

Blood Drive - First Impressions

Premiering last Wednesday, Blood Drive is the newest original SyFy series. While the channel may be best known for it's so bad they're good original movies, a lot of their series have been good enough to watch unironically.

I'm a big fan of Roger Corman's Death Race 2000 so I've been eagerly watching the countdown to Blood Drive peeling off the starting line. When I saw the first trailer, it felt like it might be a spiritual successor to Death Race. The Jason Statham reboot series was fun for what it was but it felt more like a video game movie. The direct to Netflix sequel, Death Race 2050 might become a classic in another 20 or 30 years in its own way.

 

I don't want to give too much away but here's a little rundown.

In a dystopian 1999, thanks to global warming oil is $2000 a barrel, food is scarce, and water is strictly regulated. The police are now contractors sold off to a corporation. For some, the promise of Blood Drive's $10 million prize money is the only shot for decent life.

 After busting up some dregs hacking a water ATM, Officer Bailey (possibly the only decent cop left) finds out about Blood Drive, a ruthless race where the cars run on human blood. He makes it his mission to put an end to the race but gets caught by the race organizers. He gets partnered with vicious vixen Grace and forced into the race thanks to linked sub-dermal implants that can be triggered remotely to explode. And if you come in last place at a checkpoint? BOOM!

On the first leg of the race, there's an abundance of swearing, partial nudity, an assortment of deviant and depraved oddballs, and plenty of blood! Not the CGI junk, good ol fashioned, splattering the actors, practical stuff.

The show promises to deliver a new favorite grindhouse staple every week like cannibals, cults, Amazons, and more. If the first episode is anything to go by, the series will be something you'd expect from a name like Midnight Grindhouse. In fact, I still can't believe SyFy is airing this and not Netflix. Watching this made me feel like a teenager watching something on cable they're not supposed to and worrying the parents might walk in at any minute. I just would not expect this on SyFy!

For some people, Blood Drive might be a guilty pleasure but I am fully in touch with my B-movie side and totally embrace it! I found it a hell of a lot of fun and can't wait to see what weirdness is down the road in the coming weeks.

One of the highest praises I give a TV show or movie is that after watching it, I want to jump into some type of game based on it. Blood Drive is right there! I want an RPG sourcebook with more info on the world and racers. I want a video game where you take part in the race. For now, I'll have to tune in to SyFy Wednesday nights.

If you hurry, you can catch up to the pack before the second episode tonight. Wouldn't want you to come in last and have your head explode! You can watch online at SyFy, YouTube (you can find the first three eps if you poke around), and Amazon Prime.

Monthly Movie Recap - January 2017

Happy New Year, welcome to the Apocalypse!

I usually rack up more movies in January but we've been lucky so far with the weather so I haven't been as house bound as normal for this time of year. That and I've been watching the second season of Voltron and Crazyhead on Netflix. Both highly recommended!

Yoga Hosers (2016, Netflix)

This is what happens when you can't decide on something to watch and after 20 minutes of browsing you pick something so you stop browsing. I swear Kevin Smith sat down with Charles Band, smoked a lot of weed, and came up with this version of Clerks for tweens. I honestly don't know if the girls aren't great actors or if they're perfectly playing their roles.

Cool: The Internet-style character intros. Some fun cameos. The yoga teacher Yogi Bayer (get it?)
Lame: Who would think you'd ever say Johnny Depp was the least interesting part of a movie?

Rating: 5/10

Not realizing this was the middle of a trilogy, I of course had to see the first movie...

Tusk (2014, Amazon)
I'd actually meant to see this earlier but never got around to it. I didn't read about the origin of this one until after seeing it so it was definitely an odd watch because I didn't know if I was supposed to be laughing or not. Up to the point where the dark humor comes in, it's a pretty decent horror movie with good performances. Then it takes a turn and...well, you need to see for yourself.

Cool: The makeup effects are good, even when they're weird.
Lame: There wasn't anything I didn't like about it but the ridiculousness makes it hard to figure out how much I liked it.

Rating: 6/10

*Death Race 2000 (1975)
I wanted to revisit this one with the "sequel" coming out. A lot of the charm of this one for me is the fact that it is over 40 years old but it still holds up. If anything, it's more relevant today than when it was made with the "reality TV" culture we have. This is one of my favorite Corman films and I love it!

Rating: 7/10

Death Race 2050 (2017, Netflix)
I was thrilled to see the first trailer for this because it looked like they were trying to carry on with the 70s vibe of the original. Unfortunately, it felt more like Wacky Races than Death Race. Every time they show the cars in action, I kept thinking of Banana Splits because the film would be sped up to make it seem like things were moving faster. There are some fun bits to it but it feels like it really wants to be the original.

Cool: I got a good chuckle out of the new geographic regions. Great soundtrack.
Lame: They make it sound like a sequel but they re-do quite a few things from the original so it's pretty much a remake. The SyFy channel level of effects.

Rating: 5/10, I'm really torn on this one because I want to love it. Maybe in a few years it will hit cult status.

The Rezort (2015, Netflix)

Take Jurassic Park, replace the dinos with zombies and dumb it down a few notches and you get The Rezort. I thought the description and the title sounded like it might be so bad it's good. I mean they used a "Z" instead of an "S", right? It's actually a little better then I was expecting! It doesn't do a lot of the zombie tropes you'd expect, whether that's good or bad, you have to decide.

Cool: Zombies, I guess?

Lame: Didn't really like any of the characters so who cares if they make it?

Rating: 5/10

iBoy (2017, Netflix)
Terrible name, pretty decent movie. To be honest, the only reason I checked this out is because Maisie Williams (#TeamArya) is in it. I liked it enough that I'm interested in reading the book it's based on to get into the characters a bit more.

Cool: Cyber superpowers! They sort of call out the less than stellar title in the movie.
Lame: No major complaints.

Rating: 6/10

Month Total

 New: 5  Rewatch: 1

Year Total

 New: 5  Rewatch: 1

Monthly Movie Recap - February 2016

Oscars, schmoscars! It's a rare occurrence when I actually see something up for Best Picture. It's not unusual for genre films to get their wins in technical categories but even I was shocked to see Mad Max sweep the awards!

Turbo Kid (2015, Netflix)
Remember all those 80s movies you loved as a kid? This is just like that but with a whole lot more gore. It's more splatstick than horrific which just adds to the rad vibe of this post apocalyptic adventure.

Cool: Always fun to see Michael Ironside hamming it up
Lame: It's almost too bad it's so violent because it would be an awesome movie for kids

Rating: 8/10

Princess Mononoke (1997)
This is only my second Studio Ghibli/Miyazaki movie and I really need to watch more of them! There's just something about them that's truly magical. The story here is amazing and really requires your attention to keep track of the factions and their motivations. This ain't no Totoro.

Cool: Almost none of the characters are purely good or evil. I really like the mythology going on.
Lame: Humans suck

Rating: 8/10


Deadpool (2016)
Will this be the best superhero plot you see this year? Probably not, but it's told interestingly (Tarantino-style). Will it be the most laugh-out-loud funny superhero movie this year? Absolutely! Assuming you enjoy dick jokes and gratuitous violence.

Cool: Colossus finally gets some action! Great chemistry between the leads.

Rating: 8/10

Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (2014, Netflix)
Before watching this, I only really knew Cannon by reputation. I'd seen a few here and there but they weren't really well known to me. Even if you don't know who they are, this is totally worth a watch if you're a fan of B-movies and/or exploitation! I love docs like this because they always bring up movies that I haven't seen but should, like Lifeforce.

Rating: 7/10

Just ignore the Howdy Doody stuff, this is the only trailer I could find

Crazy Mama (1975)
After catching the trailer in a compilation video of old trailers, I had to check this out. I mean, "young" Cloris Leachman? I'm in! It wasn't until after watching that I realized  it was produced by Roger Corman's wife. It's a road trip/crime spree movie but not terribly exciting. I guess for a low budget 70s movie, it's not bad and a little fun.

Cool: Great soundtrack. Familiar faces in the cast.
Lame: I wasn't ever bored but it just didn't thrill me

Rating: 5/10
 

Month Total

 New: 5  Rewatch: 0

Year Total

 New: 12  Rewatch: 1

Monthly Movie Recap - December 2015

 
Another year in the books! I would say the most notable thing for 2015 was having my contracting position turn into a full time gig. Hooray for employment!

Hope everyone has a fun and happy New Year!

Here's the final movie rundown for 2015. As always, clicking on a link will bring you to Amazon where you can order the movie (or anything else you want) which nets me a small percentage of your spending. If you've used my Amazon links, thank you! I got a little extra holiday credit to use for December.

A Christmas Horror Story (2015)
William Shatner (!) is a radio DJ connecting four almost unrelated tales in this holiday horror anthology. Most of the stories are okay but the one where the North Pole is taken over by zombie elves and Santa has a knock down drag out with Krampus make it a must see.

Cool: The above mentioned zombie elves and Santa vs Krampus fight; The through line story, and it's ending, knocked me on my butt
Lame: I wasn't a big fan of cutting back and forth between all the stories but I know why it had to be done

Rating: 7/10

Krampus (2015)

Michael Dougherty (Trick R Treat) is back to take on another holiday. A totally fun horror-lite holiday flick! If you like Gremlins, there's no reason you shouldn't dig this too. I really want a few more holiday horror movies.

Cool: Creature design twisting familiar holiday icons
Lame: I wasn't a big fan of the open-mouthed Krampus look, it just looks weird

Rating: 8/10

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

I'm not going to go into it too much but I really enjoyed it! I have a few...not really problems, but things I felt could have been better. I think this is getting the stage set for what's to come and I can't wait to see what's in store!

*Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
The second viewing was much better because I didn't have to process all the new stuff.

Rating: 8.5/10

Munchies (1987)

And with this stinker, I complete my self-challenge of watching a new to me Roger Corman involved movie every month this year! If Critters and Gremlins had a love child addicted to weed, they would look like Munchies. The actual movie was not nearly as good as either of its parents, sadly.

Cool: Harvey Corman playing brothers, one in a horibbly bad wig
Lame: This movie!

Rating: 2/10

Hot Pursuit (2015)
If you watch this trailer, you'll know if you'll enjoy the movie. It's pretty much what you'd expect teaming up two people that are polar opposites on the run.

Rating: 5/10

Month Total

 New: 5  Rewatch:1

Year Total

 New: 78  Rewatch: 5

Monthly Movie Recap - November 2015

Posting a day early because tomorrow begins the 13 Days of Creepmas!

You guys! We are now just 18 days away from a new Star Wars movie!! 

Can you feel it?

Speaking of December, if you do any holiday shopping online, I'd really appreciate it if you used the affiliate links in the right sidebar for Amazon and Entertainment Earth. Every order you place using those links will drop a few coins in my pocket. And then you can imagine me like Lucy from Peanuts after she gets a nickel in her collection can.

After overloading on horror for October, I decided to cleanse the mental palette a bit with some comedy this month.

Spy (2015)

I liked it more than I thought I would. Melissa McCarthy is a mousy desk analyst that gets put into the field after the bad guys discover the identities of all the undercover agents. Hilarity ensues.

Cool: Jason Statham is an absolute riot in this movie!

Lame: McCarthy starts out mousy but of course ends up like most of her roles: ballsy and foul mouthed. It's not that I don't like her (she's funny) I just wish they'd find a new angle for her. Since it's Paul Feig, I imagine she'll probably be the same in Ghostbusters too.

Rating: 7/10

The Peanuts Movie (2015)

This movie is an absolute love letter to anyone that grew up with the Peanuts holiday specials. It references just about, if not, everything you would want it to. One of the best things about it is that they kept it "Peanuts contemporary" and didn't try to update the world for the 21st century. Kids that don't know who the gang are will probably enjoy it too.

Rating: 9/10

Robot Overlords (2014, Netflix)

This feels like a "kids have to save the world" flick from the 80s. The only thing that's missing is that sense of wonder I associate with those kind of movies. Maybe it's the setting, maybe it's because it's British, maybe it's because I'm old...who knows? I do like the kids though, which is good because they have to carry the movie.

Cool: Some neat robot designs
Lame: Creepy ass "little kid" looking robot leader makes ultimate use of the Uncanny Valley effect.

Rating: 6/10

Roger Corman's The Phantom Eye (1999)
This "movie" aired as part of AMC's Monsterfest in 1999 during commercial breaks. Corman plays the head of the horror department and sends two interns to retrieve a movie before midnight. When they open a door, it transports them into a different horror genre where they must survive or die. It's a light hearted mix of Scream and Saw with the interns being aware of the tropes of the genres they're trapped in and figuring out how to escape.

You can see the whole thing on YouTube.
Rating: 6/10


Bunks (2014, Netflix)
Kids at summer camp accidentally unleash a curse starting a zombie outbreak. Sounds like fun, right? Maybe if you're under 13. What I didn't know going in is that this was a Disney channel movie. Not to say I haven't enjoyed some in the past but this one didn't have what it takes.

Cool: The idea of a magic storybook that brings its stories alive when they're read out loud
Lame: Squarely aimed at a young audience

Rating: 3/10

Clip from The Nightmare

The Nightmare (2015, Netflix)
This "documentary" is about sleep paralysis. I use quotes because it's all actors playing the parts of the interview subjects and creepy re-enactments. I've had this happen to me a couple times but never to the degree of experiencing other presences in the room. I find it fascinating that different people have the relatively same experience. I'm surprised this hasn't been mined for more horror movies.

Rating: 6.5/10

Trainwreck (Unrated, 2015) 
From the marketing I thought this was going to be wacky romantic comedy. When it's funny, it's funny but I wasn't expecting it to be so humanized. It's a romantic comedy with people that aren't just stereotypes.

Cool: The supporting cast (like Colin Quinn, Lebron James, and John Cena) are just as funny as the leads
Lame: It's a little slow to get rolling, but necessary to understand Amy's character

Rating: 8/10

Midnight Matinee (1990)
Mysterious murders happen at a movie theater during a horror-thon. Sadly, that summary is more exciting than the actual movie. Just about everything in the movie is bland from the characters to the kills.

Cool: Pre X-Files William B Davis
Lame: Too many red herrings. I feel like they really wanted to do some clever things but just never got where they wanted to be

Rating: 3/10, if you crave killings in a movie theater, track down Popcorn

Despicable Me 2 (2013)
Still a little late to this party but I"m loving the movies and finally get why everyone is ga-ga for the Minions. Great voice cast and a lot of fun.

Rating: 7/10

Month Total

 New: 8  Rewatch: 0

Year Total

 New: 73  Rewatch:4

Monthly Movie Recap - October 2015

Hey, Halloween fiends! The night is finally here. Whether you're staying in, or staying up late, here's a few suggestions for something spooky to watch. If you can find Tales of Halloween on demand/streaming, you should definitely check it out tonight!

It might be the final night of the Countdown to Halloween, but I'm hoping to be back with some pics from Salem tonight. On with the flicks!

Splatter (2015, Netflix)
This isn't a movie, but a 3-part interactive series produced by Roger Corman and directed by Joe Dante. Don't have Netflix? You can watch the first episode free online. It's Corman at his finest (take that how you will) and will be interesting to see how it goes. There's a good write up of the ambitious series at Hero Complex.

R.L. Stine's Monsterville: Cabinet of Souls (2015, Netflix)
It might be RL Stine, but this very much feels like a Disney tween version of Something Wicked This Way Comes. I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way. I think the Disney vibe is coming from lead Dove Cameron, who recently starred in Disney Channel's The Descendants, and the pop songs in the movie. I enjoyed it, but it you definitely need to be in a younger state of mind to do so. If you're able to watch other RL Stine shows and no be bothered with the "kiddie level" you should be fine.

Cool: Set around Halloween and a sinister carnival? I'm all in!
Lame: It's a little predictable but hey, I'm way older than the target audience
Rating: 6/10

Zombeavers (2015, Netflix)
Look, you should know from the title what you're getting into! If the SyFy Channel did better, R-rated original movies this is probably what they'd be like. Zombeavers knows what it is and goes for it, no apologies.

Rating: 7/10, campy fun

Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015, Netflix)
Back to the Tremors universe with Burt Gummer (Michael Gross)! It's pretty much an amusement park ride, I don't know it's quite a roller coaster but it's fun. For a direct to video release, the effects look really good and there's some good kills.

Rating: 6.5/10

Hellions (2015)
I'm still a little on the fence on this one. On one hand, it is a creepy, trippy, and beautiful looking movie and once the creepy starts it sucked me right in. On the other hand, once the chunky exposition drops it takes some of the fun and weirdness out of it.

Cool: Great visuals and atmosphere
Lame: Is she dreaming, hallucinating or just what the hell is going on?
Rating: 6 or 7/10

All Hallow's Eve 2 (2015)
An assortment of stories mostly set around Halloween. Some of them have more flavor than others and a couple of them barely have any story to them.

Cool: A good variety of tales
Lame: The bookends feel useless as opposed to the original where the villain appears throughout the segments. And when you stop to think about it, it's really odd that someone would have these segments on a VHS tape when they're definitely not in the found footage style.

Rating: 6/10

Tales of Halloween (2015)
Until we get an actual sequel to Trick R Treat, I think this will hold people over! 10 stories ranging from truly horrific to splat-stick comedy and plenty of cameos from some genre giants. I love the way the stories are sort of tied together and they avoid the anthology problem of bookend segments.
I can't recommend this enough to fellow Halloween fiends!

Rating: 8/10

Pay the Ghost (2015)
A lot of reviews nail this one to the wall but maybe I didn't have high expectations going in because of Nic Cage. It wasn't completely horrible but it does feel a bit Insidious-ish.

Cool: I actually like the backstory of the ghost
Lame: Way too much Cage chasing after visions of his kid

Rating: 5/10
 
It Follows (2015)
An interesting twist on the usual supernatural slasher movie. Is "It" something particular? There's plenty of room to interpret how you want. One of the things I love about this movie is how somewhat random it is. There's no real backstory or mythology to It and the overall feel is very different. I have to give them huge props for making what probably sounds like the worst movie on paper into something great. Probably my 3rd favorite horror movie I've seen this year.

Cool: The soundtrack! If you're into Carpenter-style music, this will delight you. It's also part of what makes the movie creepy and unnerving.

Rating: 8/10

*Shocker (1989)
After Wes Craven's passing I decided to revisit this one because I hadn't seen it since it was released. I had some fun memories of it. Unfortunately, those memories turn out to be the last 20 minutes of the movie. They rest of the movie is so-so but sometimes weirdly fun mainly due to Pinker.

Cool: Great soundtrack; Mitch Peliggi as a scenery chewing serial killer
Lame: For some reason the main character being psychic doesn't sit right with me but I see how why they did it. Could have been a bit shorter.

Rating: 5/10

Tucker & Dale vs Evil (2011, Netflix)
I don't know why it took me so long to finally see this one but it is every bit of a riot as I was expecting! If you need something to pass the time tonight until Ash vs Evil Dead comes on, this is a good neighbor to that universe. It's got plenty of grisly, splatstick deaths.

Rating: 8/10, a real hoot!

Month Total

 New: 9  Rewatch:1

Year Total

 New: 66  Rewatch:4

Darn, if I only could have fit in 2 more rewatches...

Before you run off to check out all the Cryptkeepers at Countdown to Halloween, here is today's audio Trick or Treat mix: Tonight's the Night Samhain Returns

Monthly Movie Recap - September 2015

Hey, folks! The Monthly Movie Recap comes to you a day early because the Countdown to Halloween starts tomorrow! Clicking on a linked title will take you to that film's Amazon page where you can not only buy it, but put a few coins in my pocket too. Win-win!

Welcome to Planet Earth (1997) aka Alien Avengers
I couldn't find a trailer for this campy dark comedy. I would have sworn it came out of the 80s because that's just how off the wall it is. Basically this couple and their daughter vacation (on Earth) and have a grand old time mopping up the street trash. If it had more violence, it would be a great Troma flick.

Cool: George Wendt beating up lowlife scumbags, what more do you need?
Lame: The plot doesn't make much sense, but then this is from Roger Corman so...

Rating: 5/10

Burying the Ex (2015, Netflix)
This is a pretty fun zom-com. It never really goes anywhere you're not expecting it to but it doesn't get boring.

Cool: Someone really needs to franchise the "I Scream" shop from this movie!
Lame: Undead, horny girlfriend.
Rating: 7/10

TMNT (2014, Netflix)
Ok, it wasn't horrible. It wasn't great either, but it didn't totally suck. That's the best thing I can say about it. This is coming from someone who didn't like the original cartoon when it came out so take that as you will.

Cool: The turtles looked realistic on screen; good fight choreography
Lame: I don't like the design of the turtles (mainly the faces) or the mecha-Shredder suit. On the other hand, the mecha suit is very comic book-y.
Rating: 6/10

Grandma's Boy (2006, Netflix)

Definitely funny but I was expecting a lot more. Mainly because when I hear people talk about it, it seems to have a cult status. I'm also not a stoner so maybe that has something to do with it?

Rating: 6/10

Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015)
If you liked the first one, you like this one! If you haven't seen the first one, you really should check it out. They're a lot of fun and the kids will enjoy them too.

Lame: The whole theme of the movie revolves around Mavis' kid, whether he's a vampire or not, and the family accepting him for who he is. The ending (spoilers!) totally undermines this by having him turn out to be a vampire, which is what pretty much everyone wants. Why have a message of acceptance and then have the kid turn out the way you expect? But I"m probably over analyzing a kids movie.
Rating:7/10

Did you see anything worth watching this month? Anything on your radar that you're looking forward to seeing? Let me know in the comments.

Month Total

 New: 5  Rewatch:0

Year Total

 New: 57  Rewatch: 3

Monthly Movie Recap - August 2015

One month closer to Halloween and Star Wars!

As always, clicking a link below will take you to Amazon where you can order the flick and put some coins in coffers. If you are the person that ordered a standing desk from my Amazon link, thank you!

Justice League: Gods and Monsters (2015)
In this alternate timeline, it's Zod that gives his DNA to create Kal-El not Jor-El, Batman is Kirk Langstrom, and Wonder Woman is the daughter of the god of War. I'm a sucker for "What If?" and Elseworlds stories but even if I wasn't, this one is still really good! Even if you're not a hardcore DC reader (like me), if you're a fan of comics this is worth checking out.

Cool: Back to the DC Animated Series style we all love; Bruce Timm!

Rating: 9/10

Brave (2012)
Although it's Pixar, it feels more like a traditional Disney movie. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just in terms of the story and characters, that's what you get. I like that they went Scottish for the background instead of a generic fantasy world, it gives it a unique flavor.

Cool: The mythology/magical elements.
Lame: I was expecting the three brothers to be in it a lot more based on how much they were a part of the marketing for the movie.

Rating: 7/10

Descendants (2015, Disney Channel)
It's High School Musical meets Disney fairy tales. It's an interesting concept that's done pretty much by the Disney book. Even though I'm not the target age group, I didn't think it was horrible. Maybe a few minutes longer than it needed to be, but that's probably from the musical numbers.

Cool: Kristen Chenoweth totally steals all her scenes
Lame: It seems like all the villains are single parents? And does it not seem weird that the heroes and villains all have kids that are the same age? (These are not the questions that should be asked!)

Rating: 6/10

The Man from UNCLE (2015)
If you could go back and make an intentionally funny Roger Moore Bond film, this would be it. I've never seen the show so I don't have any comparision but this is definitely a fun action movie. It's got great style both visually and during the action sequences.

Cool: Who knew Superman and the Lone Ranger would be so good together?
Lame: The confusing three way chase near the movie's end.

Rating: 7/10

Hercules (2014, Netflix)
I was somewhat disappointed with the original Scorpion King, so I wasn't expecting much here. But maybe having low exceptions is why I enjoyed it as much as I did. I like the way they sort of flip the legendary aspect of Hercules so that the stories are bigger than he is.

Cool: Herc's traveling companions
Lame: I like my myths with more monsters

Rating: 6.5/10

NSFW trailer

Demon of Paradise (1987)
A recently released "Corman classic." It's a Creature from the Black Lagoon wannabe that doesn't want it bad enough. I have to give props for whoever cut this trailer because it makes the movie look great. Watch it, then YouTube the final 10 minutes and save about 80 minutes of your life.

Cool: The final showdown between the monster and soldiers is pretty funny.
Lame: Too much story stuff going on that's not monster related.

Rating: 3/10

V/H/S/ 2 (2013, Netflix)
Somewhat similar to the first one. There's a bookend story and several "VHS" tales in between. The shorts themselves cover a wide variety: a man gets a cybernetic eye and starts seeing weird things through it, a fun zombie romp, a creepy cult, and alien abduction.

Cool: Extra points for being shorter than the first one. Good assortment of stories.
Lame: I thought for sure the aliens would turn out to be guys in suits because that's what they look like! The bookend story doesn't make much sense.

Rating: 7/10

Ghost Chase (1987) aka Hollywood Monster
From the director that brought you Stargate, ID4, and that 90s Godzilla movie! Starring European Vacation Rusty, the principal from The Breakfast Club, and Cynthia from Night of the Creeps! If I had somehow seen this when I was in my early teens, I'd probably have some nostalgia for it. It's cute and family friendly.

Cool: Catchy 80s tunes; the animatronics for the butler
Lame: Had trouble holding my attention

Rating: 4/10

Month Total

 New: 8  Rewatch:0

Year Total

 New: 52  Rewatch: 3

Monthly Movie Recap - July 2015

Not a ton of movies this month. A good part of movie time was spent getting caught up on Salem season 2 (are you watching it?) and American Horror Story: Asylum (thanks, Netflix!). As you read this, I'm likely at Boston Comic Con, recap next week!

Wow, where is the time going? Halloween merch is already hitting the shelves, and I do not approve. We're supposed to be better than Christmas at this!

Inside Out (2015)
The short before the movie, Lava, is amazing!

Pixar usually knows how to blend the funny and the feels to make a winner and once again, they nailed it. I love the concept of our emotions being represented by characters in our head that can be at odds with each other. It makes you think about the way you think and react to things.

Cool/Lame: Bing Bong....damn you, Pixar!

Rating: 9/10

Oculus (2013, Netflix)

I probably would have passed on this if not for Karen Gillan being in it. It was about on par with the recent PG-13 horror, even though it's R.

Cool: I like the mirror, the whole history they built up for it, and how it affects people. Also enjoy how they screw with your perception through what the characters experience.

Lame: It felt like it was missing a little something to make it better but I don't know what

Rating: 6/10

Ant Man (2015)

Marvel once again succeeds at giving a movie to a character that Joe Movie-goer has never heard of and making it a really fun time. It was kind of refreshing to see a (pardon the pun) smaller, personal story. Not only do I love 50s/60s horror/scifi but I am enamored with the very specific sub-genre of things that are smaller/larger than normal and Ant Man totally hits that sweet spot. I never noticed how retro the suit looks until seeing it in B&W (check out the trailer!).

Cool: The first sequence where he shrinks is a great adventure on its own
Lame: Marvel still needs to work on their villains being more than evil for evil's sake. And what's up with that post-credits scene??

Rating: 8/10

Stung (2015)
Giant killer bugs? I'm all in! But you know that because you read the previous movie's review. This movie is like cotton candy. There's not much to it, it doesn't fill you up, and it's fun for awhile. Also, giant killer wasps. Did I mention that?

Cool: Plenty of gooey bits; decent effects
Lame: The surprise twist at the end has me needing a sequel...now!

Rating: 6/10

The Young Racers (1963)
July's Roger Corman pick. This isn't my usual type of movie but the trailer and plot summary made it sound like it'd be a fun one. Sadly, it wasn't all I hoped it would be.

Cool: The racing scenes are shot very well, this coming from someone who doesn't usually notice that type of technical thing.
Lame: You'd think with all the girls and racing it would be pretty exciting...it's actually kind boring.

Rating: 4/10

Month Total

 New: 5  Rewatch:0

Year Total

 New: 44  Rewatch: 3

Monthly Movie Recap - June 2015

A quick #SummerSwap2015 update before we dive into June's movies.

The Swap Box has hit it's third destination: the Strange Kids Clubhouse!

Although the box appears to have encountered an ectoplasmic entity and got slimed, it's still going strong. If you've had the box, I'm still waiting on an update! :)

On to the Main Feature...

Atari: Game Over (2014, Netflix)
Great documentary not only about the search for the long rumored Atari cartridge dumping ground but also the collapse of the industry. The ending feels a bit too dramatically staged but that's a very minor complaint.

Rating: 9/10, but I'm severely biased being an Atari kid

Robocop (2014, Netflix)
I have to admit, I was expecting this to suck out loud but was pleasantly surprised. This is probably the best way to do a remake/reboot of a series; making it its own thing and a new take on the basic story. It's just too bad his connection to his family felt as emotionless.

Cool: I actually warmed up to the new look; a little more "thinking" sci-fi than expected
Lame: Why would you keep one human hand? The reuse of lines from the original often fell flat.
Rating: 7/10

Mortdecai (2015)
A second delight that wasn't as bad as I feared. It's not great but it was entertaining. Very Mr Bean meets James Bond.

Cool: I may complain about Depp being in everything, I can't deny he disappears into his characters.
Lame: There's a much better non-comedic movie in here somewhere
Rating: 5.5/10

Cowboys Vs Dinosaurs (2015) aka Jurassic Hunters
If the title didn't clue you in, this is the kind of trash you'd expect to find on SyFy. It's all here: horrendous acting, bad CGI gore and creatures, a crazy over the top climax, and if that wasn't enough...Eric Roberts.

Cool: Ok, the dinos aren't that bad when they're not moving. If this movie did nothing else for me, it makes me really want to finally see Valley of the Gwangi.
Lame: Pretty much covered it all up there.
Rating: 3/10, could have been a good bad movie but they try to put too much story in it.

Jurassic World (2015)
While a whole lot of it seemed to be ringing the nostalgia bell for JP, I loved it. Well, 99% of it. Seeing the park open was amazing and delightful. It's a solid monster movie and I'd just about call it a horror movie due to the intensity of some scenes.

Cool: Tons of callbacks and Easter eggs
Lame: My big problem with this is how the big fight ends. It had me 10 year old me laughing with joy and adult me rolling his eyes because it felt like they wrote themselves into a corner and said "Well, this will work."
Rating: 8/10

Monsters (2010, Netflix)
This is like the polar opposite of Jurassic World. It's all about the characters and you barely see the creatures, but in a good way.

Cool: The director created the effects using off the shelf software!
Lame: The ending feels a little silly in the world they've built up.
Rating: 6.5/10

Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans (1990)
So glad to be done with this series that continues to drop in quality. Imagine Game of Thrones produced by your local cable access channel.

Cool: The original Deathstalker is back
Lame: This movie
Rating: 2/10

Gone Girl (2014)
If I were to draw you a Venn diagram of critically acclaimed movies and the movies I watch, there would be a very small overlap. You read this blog, you know I lean more to genre flicks, that's just me. But man, am I glad I saw this movie without having any of it spoiled in advance!

Cool: Fantastic performances all around; Darkly awesome!
Lame: The ending might leave you a little uneasy...but that's why I like it
Rating: 8/10

Month Total

 New: 8  Rewatch:0

Year Total

 New: 39  Rewatch: 3

Monthly Movie Recap - May 2015

Another month gone, another month closer to a new Star Wars movie! As usual, clicking on a film title will take you to Amazon where you can buy it and help support the site. And by "support the site" I mean give me a small credit at Amazon. 

I'm sad to say, I'm late to the Netflix party. The only reason I have it now is a free month and to watch Daredevil. If any flicks I watch were seen on Netflix, I'll note it after the title in case you're interested in seeing it.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Plenty of action but I'd love to see Whedon's first cut with the 40 or so missing minutes. They tried to pack too much into it story-wise which may lead you to online research to figure out what it all means. I would have loved to see it go to a more philosophical sci-fi place with Ultron pondering what it is to be alive. 

Cool: Hawkeye's farm; amazing action; Scarlet Witch (even though she's not the comic version)
Lame: Ultron's speaker cheeks; story is a little confusing in places because there's so much packed in
Rating: 8/10

(Couldn't find a trailer but the whole MST3k movie is on YouTube!)

Deathstalker III: The Warriors from Hell (1988)

Third movie, third actor playing Death Stalker. These are just getting cheesier as they go. I'm going to see the series through to the end although I'm not looking forward to the last one.

Cool: Definitely a guilty pleasure flick...for somebody out there

Lame: Horribly dubbed wizard.

Rating: 4/10

Wolfcop (2014)
The title should pretty much tell you if you're going to enjoy this or not! But unless you hate a good time, you'll probably like this grindhouse-y horror comedy.

Cool: He's not just a cop that's a werewolf, he's a werewolf that's a cop!
Lame: I don't know if this is the only cinematic werewolf on human sex scene, but it's the only one I've ever seen.
Rating: 7/10

Pitch Perfect (2012)
This wasn't my pick but I ended up liking it more than I thought. I've never watched Glee, but I imagine it's like that crossed with Bring It On.

Cool: as much as I like the songs
Lame: it seems like the whole thing was done to sell a soundtrack
Rating: 6/10

Chris D’Elia: Incorrigible (2015) Netflix
There's not much to talk about, it's a stand up special! I really enjoyed it, but I like him anyway. He's a very kinetic and expressive comic.

Rating: 8/10

Dead Before Dawn (2012) Netflix
It's not amazing but it's better than a lot of the "never heard of it before" stuff I manage to find. I didn't even realize it was originally done for 3D until researching it later. Turns out, it's also the first female directed stereoscopic 3D feature.

Cool: Christopher Lloyd & Kevin McDonald
Lame: The CGI looks like it's out of a video game but it's used very sparingly
Rating: 6.5/10

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)
A lot of the humor comes from the characters making observations/commentary on the time they're living in, which is a little odd at first. If you're not a fan of MacFarlane's TV work or juvenile humor, you should probably skip it.

Cool: Comedic deaths; Liam Neeson as the bad guy
Lame: Nothing to say here
Rating:  7/10

Full short on YouTube

Hellyfish (2014)
I'm not counting this as a "movie" because it's only 15 minutes long but I have to mention it because it's so much silly fun. Killer mutant jellyfish is all you need to know. If you've got 15 minutes to spare, check it out on YouTube.

Month Total

 New: 7  Rewatch:0

Year Total

 New: 31  Rewatch: 3

Monthly Movie Recap - April 2015

Aside from Halloween, the start of the summer movie season is probably my favorite time of year. Already have tickets to see Avengers tomorrow and I can NOT WAIT!

Fast Five (2011)

Although this is more Diesel's 11 than anything else, I think the series (so far) hit its high point here. The street racing is mostly gone and is replaced with a heist. Well, I guess they've all been about stealing stuff haven't they? It starts going crazy at the climax but if you're willing to go for the ride, it's a fun one!

Cool: The Rock finally gives an opponent to match Diesel's physicality; Getting the gang together, they play off each other fantastically; Major props for the use of physical effects over CGI, especially with the safe

Lame: I swear someone was hired just to keep The Rock looking sweaty, or he really sweats A LOT. Ew!

Rating: 7/10

Fast & Furious 6 (2013)

If the last one went a little into crazy town at the climax, this one is just saying "screw it, pedal to the metal!" and whole-heartedly barreling into crazy town and becoming an over the top action movie. It's not a bad thing as long as you're on board with where they're going.

Cool: The new villains have got some cool gear; The end finally brings us to Tokyo Drift!

Lame: As much as I loved The Rock in the last one, he's not as great here but it's more the fault of the script than anything to do with him.. Sad that our time with Han is over, he's one of the best characters in the series. The climax on the plane does on way too long.

Rating: 6/10

Deathstalker II (1987)

A new actor in the title role and a completely different tone. This one plays more tongue-in-cheek and if you removed the boobs and some of the violence, it's probably be an entertaining movie for the kiddies.

Cool: It's just so bad, it's fun!

Lame: The female lead's acting is oh so bad.

Rating: 4/10

Into the Woods (2014)

I was somehow unaware that this was based on a musical so I guess it's a little unfair to say it has too much singing in it for me. But otherwise, it hits a very niche sweet spot for me. It's sort of a What If?/Team-Up of Grimm's Fairy Tales characters.

Cool: I enjoyed the fairy tale characters/elements having an intertwined plot

Lame: Too much singing

Rating: 5/10, On Amazon it has the same percentage of people giving it 5 stars as 1 stars!

 Complete movie on YouTube!

Crash! (1977)
The tagline from the poster sums it up nicely: "An occult object takes possession of a driverless car and causes one spectacular crash after another until fifty cars are pounded into a mass of twisted metal." It's a little bit Carrie, a little bit Christine, and a lot of vehicular carnage!

Cool: Early Charles Band film. Groovy 70s soundtrack.
Lame: It's a bit uneven with the horror/psychic powers and Smokey & The Bandit car antics

Rating: 3/10


Iron Man 3 (2013)
I somehow never got around to seeing this in theaters. It's probably not the post-Avengers movie a lot of people wanted but I really liked it. It was neat seeing Tony do his thing without being in the suit for most of the movie. It will be interesting to see where he's at mentally in AoU.

Cool: So. Many. Armors! Good action, especially when Tony goes all Home Depot commando.
Lame: Not really anything bad to say, it's just a different kind of superhero movie.

Rating: 7/10

Month Total

 New: 6  Rewatch:0

Year Total

 New: 24  Rewatch: 3

Monthly Movie Recap - March 2015

Greetings true believers! March came in like a lion...a lion made of ice. We're still thawing out here but it's mostly gone and we're looking at temps in the 60s for Friday. Hurray! Also, I finally managed to get a new camera, but more on that in a future post.

On with the March movies!

Deathstalker (1983)

The first film from the House of Corman to ride on Conan's loincloth tails, it's also the film debut of Lana Clarkson from last month's Barbarian Queen flicks. There's a barbarian, an evil wizard, some ridiculous creature makeups, and Barbi Benton. If that doesn't sell you, you should probably not see it.

Cool: The best thing about this one is probably the poster by Boris Vallejo.

Lame: Deathstalker isn't just an anti-hero, he's kind of a dick for most of the movie

Rating: 5/10, there's another 3 movies in this series but I'm pacing myself

Damnation Alley (1977)

It's feels like a proto-Walking Dead: a band of apocalypse survivors avoiding monsters (human and otherwise) while trying to make their way to a better place. Despite the $17m budget, it feels very made-for-TV. I wanted to love it more because it's one of those movies I've always been aware of but never seen. If I'd seen it in the 70s, I might even had a soft spot for it.

Cool: George Peppard! Giant scorpions, flesh eating roaches, and what has to be one the greatest vehicles in film: the Landmaster

Lame: Apparently 20th Century Fox went back and re-edited this after the unexpected success of another little movie called Star Wars. And that's too bad because I'm guessing they cut the parts that would have given this some kind of meaningful story.

Rating: 5/10

* The Fast & The Furious (2001)
Thanks (?) to Now Playing Podcast doing a review retrospective of the series, I decided to put the pedal to the metal and check them out. I originally saw this when it was first released. I thought it would be just dumb fun (which it is) but there was more of a story to it than I was expecting. If you replaced Paul Walker with Michael Knight, this could be a movie length episode of Knight Rider.


Cool: The cars are the stars here; underground car racing; well done action/stunt scenes
Lame: As I said, the cars are the stars and they almost out-act the humans
Rating: 5.5/10

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
With the opening race, I had to check and make sure I didn't put in Wreck-It Ralph by accident. The cars, drivers, and their fans are all color co-ordinated and the race itself feels very much like something out of Need for Speed. But I'm not saying any of that as a bad thing!

Cool: Very kinetic driving sequences
Lame: The plot feels like it's trying too hard to be complicated and I don't need that in an action movie. If you want to get wasted watching this one, take a drink every time there's an insert shot of Walker's feet on the pedals.
Rating: 6/10, If the first one was Knight Rider, this one is skirting GTA.

The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
With a title like that, I expected this to be the (sequel name) 2: Electric Boogaloo of the series. What I wasn't expecting was the little kid from American Gothic! It's somewhat more of the same formula of cars, racing, and criminal activity but in Tokyo.

Cool: Moving to Tokyo really makes this one feel fresh; some impressive drift stunts; the surprise cameo at the end which makes this apparent reboot turn into a sequel
Lame: Although the drifting is cool, I got bored of it after awhile. The previous driving sequences were very kinetic and exciting, drifting isn't as thrilling but more artistic to watch.
Rating: 6/10, Car-ate Kid 2

Fast & Furious (2009)
The original gang returns for this sequel which is a prequel to Tokyo Drift. Whaaaa? Maybe it will all make sense as the series progresses. More cars, fast driving, and Paul Walker undercover. This one is more Diesel's flick as he's out for revenge against a drug lord.

Cool: Fantastic opening sequence and first race
Lame: They sort of off-screen kill one of the main characters from the original movie
Could Go Either Way: There's some over the top moments that you'll either embrace or roll your eyes at
Rating: 5.5/10

Cinderella (2015)
They did a great job with this, I ended up liking it a lot more than I thought I would. There's not much to say, it's a live action Disney Cinderella! The Frozen short in front of it is a ton of fun. 

Cool: The special effects are wonderful in the truest sense of the word from the transformations to the mice; If you keep an eye out during Cinderella and the Prince's dance you'll see other Disney princesses attending the ball!
Lame: Helena Bonham Carter as the Fairy Godmother. You could put Jack Sparrow in drag and it would be just about the same in every way...except he might be a smidge prettier.
Rating: 7/10

Month Total

 New: 6  Rewatch: 1

Year Total

 New: 18  Rewatch: 3