Jan 1, 2023

Monthly Media Recap - December 2022

Happy New Year!
 
It's time again for the annual tradition of cramming in as many holiday horror flicks as I can...no matter how bad they may seem. There are a ridiculous amount of Christmas themed horror movies and a lot of them are the visual equivalent of coal in your stocking. I found this list of what's on Tubi and after watching a couple, I don't think the author and I have the same taste.

I've said this before and it's worth mentioning again given the upcoming reviews. Indie, low budget horror can be a hard sell for me. I can get by bad effects and/or acting if there's something for me to grab on to.


Streaming

It's Christmas, it's got Muppets, guest stars, and most importantly, Pepe the King Prawn. How can you go wrong? You can't!

Beauty & The Beast 30th Anniversary (2022, Disney+)
This was pretty cool! They showed the original movie intercut with live action performances when the musical numbers come up. It was very well done, especially the opening which looked to be done in a single shot while traversing a backlot.

Movies

It's been so long since I first saw this, it was basically like watching again for the first time. Murray is good but feels like he went off script a lot. By far my favorite performance here has to be Carol Kane. She steals her whole segment! The TV movie within the movie is great too. As a Christmas Carol adaptation, I don't know that Murray's character quite experiences enough to make him change his ways but it's still a good time.

Rating: 6.5/10

First time watch so forgive my opinion on the restored musical number. While it's absolutely essential to making Scrooge seem more human I feel like it stopped the movie cold for a couple minutes. Other than that, this was a delight. Michael Caine is giving it his all despite most of his co-starts not being human.

Rating: 8/10



I almost turned this off after the first 10 minutes but stuck to my goal of watching as many as possible. Of the 13 stories crammed in here, one is above average, a couple are ok, a couple are bad and the rest are pretty meh. I will say there's some good ideas in a lot of them but they could be done better. The best thing about the movie overall is watching for all the references to classic horror movies.

Rating: 4/10



Had this not been done by Steve Rudzinski, who did CarousHELL which I love, I most definitely would have skipped it. It's a very low budget spoof of Hallmark movies but with a supernatural twist. I think you have to have a particular sense of humor for it which I think you can gauge from the trailer. If you do watch this, be sure to listen to the Halloween is Forever podcast episode about it with Rudzinski.

Rating: 5/10



This felt like an 80s throwback if for no other reason than the random horny 20-somethings who are just there for the body count. Despite kills in the opening 10 minutes, the first 2/3 was a little boring for me and most of the acting is barely ok. What I did really like about it was the final reel and finding out the "mystery" of the killer's back story.

Rating: 4/10
 
 
After some of the stinkers I watched, this was an incredible breath of fresh air. Life-size Santa robot (developed from military tech) goes on a murder spree. This flick knows what it is right out of the gate and has fun. Plenty of kills and the gore is good. My one quibble is that there are probably 2 or 3 too many "we stopped it" scenes. If you have an aversion to the F-bomb, this is not a movie for you. I'll definitely be checking out this director's other stuff.

Rating: 8/10



I saw a homicidal Elf doll and figured it had to be at least as good as a bad Puppet Master movie. Boy, was I wrong. This...I don't even know where to start. It's just a hot mess inside of a dumpster fire. Instead of watching it, I recommend watching the much shorter Bloodbath and Beyond review

Rating: 2/10



This started off pretty promising with just the right level of camp for a sentient killer Christmas tree. Unfortunately, it gets side tracked with a little too much character stuff before the tree gets to the party. Its voice has so much bass I had a hard time understanding it a lot of the time and it seems to change size between a guy in a costume and a CGI 15-20' tall version when it needs to. It's a tree with Mr Fantastic-like branches but I don't think it should change size. But who am I to complain about logic in a movie with a murderous tree?

Rating: 4/10



Before I even checked out the trailer, I was pretty much all in based on the title. It's a little uneven in places. It's like they tried to shoehorn in the romance of bad Hallmark movie into a Tomb Raider adventure by way of Lovecraft and Robert E Howard. The effects are decent and it's a fun time when the leads aren't making googly eyes at each other.

Rating: 6/10



The first one was a real treat and this one is even tastier! It's a comedy horror anthology that manages to be a love letter to the horror genre while it's lampooning it. Horror fans will find plenty of references to their favorite movies and tropes.

Rating: 8/10

We can finally forget that Christmas Story 2, the real sequel has arrived. They did an amazing job with this. It manages to hit the nostalgia without feeling like a retread or cash grab. This is where having the original on in the background for years finally pays off. It's like reuniting with an old friend and falling right back into old habits. Hopefully it will get inserted into the round the clock holiday broadcast of the original.

Rating: 8/10



This horror comedy anthology has four tales held together by a subpar wraparound. The good news is that the individual stories get better as the movie goes on. Tongue is firmly inserted in cheek throughout a lot of it so if you enjoy some cheese with your blood, this should hold you over. The bridal battle royale could be a feature on its own.

Rating: 7/10

Monthly Total
New: 11   Rewatch: 1

Year to Date
New: 97   Rewatch: 5

Here's everything I watched this year in reverse order. If you like to keep track of the stuff you watch, head over to Letterboxd and give me a follow.

6 comments:

  1. I hear you. I watched a lot of low budget Christmas horror for the #horrormoviesfortheholidays challenge, and so many were just bad and boring. Got to be hard to click that play button.

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    1. Ooh! I haven't heard of that challenge. Guess I'll have to check it out this yer.

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  2. I think overall that Scrooged is overrated, though there are some really enjoyable parts in it. And I'm with you on Carol Kane, she is absolutely the best part of the movie.

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    1. As much as I see people talk about around the holidays, I was a little let down.

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  3. Gotta check out that Astonishing Tales of Terror movie!

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