Happy New Year!
It's time again for the annual tradition of cramming in as many holiday horror
flicks as I can...no matter how bad they may seem. There are a ridiculous amount of Christmas themed horror movies and a lot of them are the visual equivalent of
coal in your stocking. I found
this list
of what's on Tubi and after watching a couple, I don't think the author and I
have the same taste.
I've said this before and it's worth mentioning again given the upcoming
reviews. Indie, low budget horror can be a hard sell for me. I can get by bad
effects and/or acting if there's something for me to grab on to.
Streaming
It's Christmas, it's got Muppets, guest stars, and most importantly, Pepe the
King Prawn. How can you go wrong? You can't!
Beauty & The Beast 30th Anniversary (2022, Disney+)
This was pretty cool! They showed the original movie intercut with live action
performances when the musical numbers come up. It was very well done,
especially the opening which looked to be done in a single shot while
traversing a backlot.
Movies
It's been so long since I first saw this, it was basically like watching again
for the first time. Murray is good but feels like he went off script a lot. By
far my favorite performance here has to be Carol Kane. She steals her whole
segment! The TV movie within the movie is great too. As a Christmas Carol
adaptation, I don't know that Murray's character quite experiences enough to
make him change his ways but it's still a good time.
Rating: 6.5/10
First time watch so forgive my opinion on the restored musical number. While
it's absolutely essential to making Scrooge seem more human I feel like it
stopped the movie cold for a couple minutes. Other than that, this was a
delight. Michael Caine is giving it his all despite most of his co-starts not
being human.
Rating: 8/10
I almost turned this off after the first 10 minutes but stuck to my goal of
watching as many as possible. Of the 13 stories crammed in here, one is above
average, a couple are ok, a couple are bad and the rest are pretty meh. I will
say there's some good ideas in a lot of them but they could be done better.
The best thing about the movie overall is watching for all the references to
classic horror movies.
Rating: 4/10
Had this not been done by Steve Rudzinski, who did CarousHELL which I love, I
most definitely would have skipped it. It's a very low budget spoof of
Hallmark movies but with a supernatural twist. I think you have to have a
particular sense of humor for it which I think you can gauge from the trailer.
If you do watch this, be sure to listen to the
Halloween is Forever podcast episode
about it with Rudzinski.
Rating: 5/10
This felt like an 80s throwback if for no other reason than the random horny
20-somethings who are just there for the body count. Despite kills in the
opening 10 minutes, the first 2/3 was a little boring for me and most of the
acting is barely ok. What I did really like about it was the final reel and
finding out the "mystery" of the killer's back story.
Rating: 4/10
After some of the stinkers I watched, this was an incredible breath of fresh
air. Life-size Santa robot (developed from military tech) goes on a murder
spree. This flick knows what it is right out of the gate and has fun. Plenty
of kills and the gore is good. My one quibble is that there are probably 2 or
3 too many "we stopped it" scenes. If you have an aversion to the F-bomb, this
is not a movie for you. I'll definitely be checking out this director's other
stuff.
Rating: 8/10
I saw a homicidal Elf doll and figured it had to be at least as good as a bad
Puppet Master movie. Boy, was I wrong. This...I don't even know where to
start. It's just a hot mess inside of a dumpster fire. Instead of watching it,
I recommend watching the much shorter
Bloodbath and Beyond review.
Rating: 2/10
This started off pretty promising with just the right level of camp for a
sentient killer Christmas tree. Unfortunately, it gets side tracked with a
little too much character stuff before the tree gets to the party. Its voice
has so much bass I had a hard time understanding it a lot of the time and it
seems to change size between a guy in a costume and a CGI 15-20' tall version
when it needs to. It's a tree with Mr Fantastic-like branches but I don't
think it should change size. But who am I to complain about logic in a movie
with a murderous tree?
Rating: 4/10
Before I even checked out the trailer, I was pretty much all in based on the
title. It's a little uneven in places. It's like they tried to shoehorn in the
romance of bad Hallmark movie into a Tomb Raider adventure by way of Lovecraft and Robert E Howard. The effects
are decent and it's a fun time when the leads aren't making googly eyes at each other.
Rating: 6/10
The first one was a real treat and this one is even tastier! It's a comedy
horror anthology that manages to be a love letter to the horror genre while
it's lampooning it. Horror fans will find plenty of references to their
favorite movies and tropes.
Rating: 8/10
We can finally forget that Christmas Story 2, the real sequel has arrived.
They did an amazing job with this. It manages to hit the nostalgia without
feeling like a retread or cash grab. This is where having the original on in
the background for years finally pays off. It's like reuniting with an old
friend and falling right back into old habits. Hopefully it will get inserted
into the round the clock holiday broadcast of the original.
Rating: 8/10
This horror comedy anthology has four tales held together by a subpar wraparound. The good news is that the individual stories get better as the movie goes on. Tongue is firmly inserted in cheek throughout a lot of it so if you enjoy some cheese with your blood, this should hold you over. The bridal battle royale could be a feature on its own.
Rating: 7/10
Monthly Total
New: 11 Rewatch: 1
Year to Date
New: 97 Rewatch: 5
New: 11 Rewatch: 1
Year to Date
New: 97 Rewatch: 5
Here's everything I watched this year in reverse order. If you like to keep track of the stuff you watch, head over to Letterboxd and give me a follow.
I hear you. I watched a lot of low budget Christmas horror for the #horrormoviesfortheholidays challenge, and so many were just bad and boring. Got to be hard to click that play button.
ReplyDeleteOoh! I haven't heard of that challenge. Guess I'll have to check it out this yer.
DeleteI think overall that Scrooged is overrated, though there are some really enjoyable parts in it. And I'm with you on Carol Kane, she is absolutely the best part of the movie.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I see people talk about around the holidays, I was a little let down.
DeleteGotta check out that Astonishing Tales of Terror movie!
ReplyDeleteIt's a good Saturday night flick!
Delete