Jul 1, 2024

Monthly Media Recap - June 2024

It was a banner month for movies: I went to the theater TWICE! I honestly don't remember the last time I went out to a movie more than once a month. Probably summer 2019? While I can enjoy the communal experience, too many people think they're on their couch and have zero theater etiquette.

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Started the month of with an absolute banger of a horror flick! I seem to always enjoy these type of movies where the main character is going through something personal and them having to deal with some crazy horror on top of it. Very imaginative and extra points for making stop motion creepy AF.

Rating: 8/10
Sorry, Eric Mabius, you might be perfect for Hallmark movies but no amount of slow-motion walking or makeup are going to make you badass back from the grave. Despite how despicable they made the bad guys to make you want them to get what’s coming, this Crow feels more like a slasher villain than an anti-hero.  

Rating: 3/10
This actually made me go back and re-evaluate my feelings on the last movie. This is so far from even being just okay, but it least it’s bad in a way you can make fun of it. The plot was a little confusing and most of the acting is flat out laughable in parts. And at this point, I’ve had enough of resurrected guys doing revenge murder. Initially, DMX was in talks for this sequel and I definitely would be more interested in seeing something a little different from the franchise. 
Rating: 2/10

And speaking of train wrecks on film...
Madame Web (2024, Netflix)
They may have promoted this as "not a standard super hero movie" but as someone that only saw the trailer I was expecting at least some costumed action. Instead I got a bad guy in a knock-off Spider suit trying to kill three teenage girls. I think every second of the costumed Spider heroes is in the trailer! I could get past the "non-standard" if only there was something to get me to care instead of laugh at it. I'm almost not sure which is worse: Dakota Johnson's emotionless acting or Sydney Sweeney trying to pass as a teenager by looking like she's ready for schoolgirl fetish shoot. 
Rating: 3/10, Adam Scott...how did you end up here?
I have to wonder if Sony-Marvel only thinks they can get away with over the top R violence with Deadpool because that's what Venom should be. If you're giving me Carnage, there should be...carnage. There's an okay body count but the good stuff happens off screen. These aren't the Venom movies I want but I can guilty pleasure enjoy them for what they are.

Rating: 6/10

Under Paris (2024, Netflix)
If a SyFy Original had a halfway decent budget, this is what you’d get. It’s a fun summer night popcorn flick to watch with a group. It's definitely one of the better shark movies I've seen in recent years in terms of being entertaining.

Rating: 6/10

Late to the party on this one but happy to say it’s absolutely worthy of the praise it’s received.I honestly can't remember if I've ever had any attachment to any of the people in a kaiju movie, that's just not why you're watching it. Not only did they manage to get me involved in this guy's life but they also made the Big G a terrifying force of nature like he should be. More of this please!

Rating: 9/10

A non-Taylor Swift concert movie? Sort of. It's about 80% concert and 20% narrative of Papa Emeritus IV (aka Cardinal Copia, aka Cardi) coming to terms with his time as the front man of Ghost coming to an end. For the fans like me that have gone down the rabbit hole of band lore over the years, this is such a love letter. If you're not that type of fan, it's still a kick ass concert movie.

If you're going to remake one of the most notoriously bad movies of all time, wouldn't you want to do a it a little better? I mean, it's better in some respects (it's in color, I guess?) but it still falls squarely into the category of cheap indie horror that I have a hard time enjoying. And no flying saucers?!?!

Rating: 3/10

If seeing this in a theater taught me anything, it's that today's movie going audience would not last 10 seconds if the Death Angels came for real. I wasn't really clamoring for more Quiet Place but the idea of Day One in NYC hooked me. There's plenty of tense moments and jump scares (with accompanying audio stings) to punctuate the human story. Definitely recommend seeing this in a theater with great audio.

Rating: 7/10

This Month
New: 10    Rewatch: 0
Year to Date
New: 59   Rewatch: 2

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