Nov 3, 2013

Monthly Movie Recap - October 2013

Hey folks! After the Halloween blog-along, the goblins are all exhausted and need a break. I'm giving them a week off so they can come back nice and refreshed. But before that, here's the movie recap for October. Clicking on any of the title links takes you to Amazon
where you can purchase these fine films.

Little Witches (1996)
Six misfit girls at a Catholic boarding school become mixed-up with occult and witchcraft after a Satanic temple is discovered underneath the local church. Have you ever watched The Craft and thought "Gee, I wish this had more Satan and T&A but not be as good of a movie."? If so, this is your film.

Cool: Except for the aforementioned T&A, not much
Lame: It's pretty by the book
Rating: 4/10


Big Ass Spider (2013)
This movie is so much fun! It's how a SyFy Original should be done. With those, you're usually laughing at them instead of with them like with this movie.

Cool: Grunberg and his sidekick are perfect; the spider is wicked
Lame: Sure the plot gets a little contrived but what do you expect with a title like Big Ass Spider?
Rating: 8/10


I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)
I don't know how you get the idea to make a movie about a killer motorcycle, never mind how you'd actually execute it. Given that, I think they did an ok job with the silly concept.

Cool: Anthony Daniels (C-3P0) as a priest; talking poo; a murderous motorcycle
Lame: If you can't get into the motorcycle's antics, you won't be able to finish it
Rating: 5/10


Grabbers (2012)
Why aren't there more movies like this and Big Ass Spider being made?!? This one is another totally fun monster flick. Once they figure out the only way to keep from being eaten by the monster is to get drunk, it's party time!

Cool: The monster effects are fantastic; drunk people trying to fight monsters? hilarious!
Lame: I got nothing.
Rating: 8.5/10

The Lords of Salem (2013)
Despite one of the worst movie posters ever, I really wanted to see this and like it. Most of the time Zombie hits the 70s occult movie vibe dead on and I love that part of it. Parts are freaky, some trippy but it's never really spooky or scary.

Cool: Seeing parts of Salem in the movie that I know so well; Bruce Davison is fantastic but his role's too small
Lame: Most of the rest of the cast. I never believed Sherri Moon was who she was supposed to be or that she was anything other than someone playing a part, given she's the main character, that ain't good! It's also got one of those "that's it?!" endings that kinda killed a lot of love it had built up from me to that point.
Rating: 4.5/10, I saw a lot of positive tweets...maybe I'm not the right audience?

V/H/S/ (2012)
No trailer because it gives away too much! This is a pretty solid horror anthology. It is a touch too long but watching at home you have the luxury of pausing. They could have cut the honeymoon segment, my least favorite, and it would have been better.

Cool: The segments all have at least a little creepy part to them, especially the Halloween one which is my favorite despite the end not making sense. I watch a lot of horror and rarely have to switch lights on when moving through the house at night. Good show, V/H/S!
Lame: The webcam segment is creepy but either I missed it or they didn't explain what was going on adequately because I had to look it up online.
Rating: 7.5/10


The Giant Spider (2013)
I posted about this a little while ago. Filmmaker Christopher Mihm is making retro inspired movies in the modern day. If it's got a giant bug in it, whether it came out yesterday or 50+ years ago, I'm in!

Cool: It's got everything you'd want from an atom age giant spider movie: an actual tarantula as the monster, cheezy puppetry, mediocre acting and even a little humor.
Lame: If you don't already have an affinity for the original b-movies of the time, this is not for you.
Rating: 6/10

Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
This is what happens when you can't sleep during the week. I feel bad for anyone that sees this for the first time in their home with no context. I was obsessed with this movie before I even saw it after see the music video for Sweet Transvestite on Mtv. That tells you how long ago this was! I had a story book, soundtracks and an audience participation album. First time I went, I dressed as Brad, the fully clothed version.


Curse of Chucky (2013)
Everyone's favorite killer My Little Buddy knockoff is back in a direct to video sequel. They seem to be trying to steer it back to Chucky's horror origins instead of it being more comedic like the last two films. For direct to video, it's pretty good but I don't know if I'd feel the same if I saw it in a theater.

Cool: Some good kills and gore; the after credits scenes are great
Lame: The plot feels a little shoehorned to fit in with the original movies
Rating: 6/10, if you're a fan of the series, definitely check it out


All Hallow's Eve (2013)
Another anthology of horror movies on a VHS tape, what are the odds? Where V/H/S/ is a group of unrelated stories, there is something tying all the stories in All Hallow's Eve together and that something is a disturbingly evil, and occasionally comedic, freakin clown.

Cool: I really like what they did with the bookend segments; the third segment is done in a grind-house style
Lame: The second segment doesn't feel like it fits with the other two
Rating: 6.5/10, If you have a bad reaction to clowns, do NOT watch this!

Month Total
 New: 9; Rewatch: 1

Year to Date
New: 72, Rewatch: 3

5 comments:

  1. Both Big Ass Spiders and Grabbers have been on my to-see list for a while now, and All Hallow's Eve I hadn't even heard about until about a day or two before Halloween, so I think I'll save that one for next season... but I'd heard it is the bastard child of Trick R' Treat and V/H/S and not in a terrible way. V/H/S itself is pretty great overall, and I totally agree about the honeymoon sequence needing to be dropped. V/H/S/2 is pretty solid as well, though not as good as the first one. Still worth a look-see. Curse of Chucky is one I'm still on the fence about seeing, but I've heard mostly good about it so I'm going for it. Lords of Salem I think I still want to watch so I can say I've given it every chance, though SOOO many people have given it poor reviews (including the girl I borrowed it from!). Never been a fan of RHPS but I do like a couple of the songs... and that Motorcycle movie looks just batshit enough to get my attention... so I may have to see that.

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    1. Yeah All Hallows just about flew under my radar this year too. I can kinda see where that cross-parenting would come from.

      Have VHS 2 on my list as everyone else has said it's better than the first.

      The motorcycle movie is pretty much as you describe it!

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  2. Sound like some great films. Definitely want to see Big Ass Spiders, Curse of Chucky and All Hallow's Eve!

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    Replies
    1. Big Ass Spider really took me by surprise, I was more expecting to be laughing at it instead of with it. Hope they do more movies like that.

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  3. Just found the full movie of "Grabbers" to watch this evening... thanks for the link that enabled me to see the cool-sounding film...

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