Monthly Media Recap - December 2023

Happy New Year!

 

As always, most links below are Amazon affiliate links where I can earn from qualifying purchases if you buy the weird things I watch.

I didn't see a whole lot of big studio movies in theaters this year and the majority of what I did were Marvel movies. I had zero interest in seeing Oppenheimer but I really enjoyed Barbie. Guardians Vol 3 was a terrific send off for the crew. Disney's Haunted Mansion may have a few issues but it was far better than the Eddie Murphy one for me. And Talk to Me...just wow! I'm so happy I got to see that with an audience.

Streaming (sort of)

A Muppet Family Christmas (1987, YouTube)

Forget Endgame, THIS is the epic crossover I've been wanting all my life! Characters from Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, and Muppet Babies all in the same show! As a pretty much lifelong Muppet fan, this delivered on every level. I'm not usually one for Christmas specials but seeing all these characters interact and the focus being on them was fantastic.

On to the ho-ho-holiday horror!

Movies

 

Await Further Instructions (2018, Shudder)

I've actually had this on my watch list for months and since it takes place at Christmas, what better time to get around to it?  This is definitely a bit on the odd side but in the best way. Aside from the family's interpersonal problems, there's a whole other mysterious thing going on that has trapped them in the house and is issuing instructions through the TV which keeps you guessing.

Rating: 7/10

The Mean One (2022)

I got to see this in Salem with a director Q&A afterward. It's low budget, crazy fun. What other movie will give you a Hallmark romance plot, a "level up" training montage and feature a very violent Gri-uh...legally distinct green skinned grouchy Christmas hater? They got David Howard Thornton (Art the Clown) to play the baddie and he just brings it to the perfect level.

Rating: 7/10

It's a Wonderful Knife (2023, Shudder/Amazon Prime)

I don't know why but I was expecting more from this. It's a slasher so of course it has violence but the kills are fairly middle of the road and tame (at least for me). It might be a decent gateway flick for someone that wants to dip their toe into horror. There's something that comes out of nowhere near the end of the movie that really should have been worked into the story earlier. I did like their twist on the "I wish I'd never been born" trope.

Rating: 6/10

The Christmas Tapes (2022, Tubi)

If there was a V/H/S Christmas movie on Wish, this is what it would be. I actually mean that in more of a jokey way than a slam on the movie. Of the four stories in it, one is really good and one has got some humor. The other two are just okay. Not a bad watch by any stretch.

Rating: 5/10

The Nights Before Christmas (202, Tubi)

I actually turned this off after the first 20 minutes in and was all set to forget it but for some reason I decided to finish it. The way the villains chew the scenery almost makes up for the bland acting from just about everyone else in the movie. Mrs Claus is doing her best (which ain't great) Harley Quinn impersonation. Only as I was looking up the movie after watching it did I realize it's a sequel which helps explain why it felt like I came in halfway through it.

 

Rating: 4/10

 

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The Sacrifice Game (2023, Shudder)

This is definitely going on the Nice list! A group of young people go on a ritualistic killing spree at Christmas time to free a demon. Strongly recommend going in as blind as possible and let it take you for a wild, bloody ride.

Rating: 7/10

P2 (2007, Tubi/Shudder)

Considering this is about a creepy security guard chasing a woman around a deserted parking garage it was pretty good. For not having any supernatural elements to it, there is a surprising level of violence here when it does happen. The ending starts to dip into action movie territory which makes it a little less grounded but you'll still be cheering when the weirdo gets what's coming to him.

Rating: 6/10

Santastein (2023, Screambox)

Considering this was Kickstarted for just under $30k, it's not bad. It's supposed to be a horror-comedy but I didn't find much funny in it. If you're going to give me Santastein, I think it needs to be funnier and/or have a higher body count. I'd love to see it remade with a bigger budget because the folks behind it definitely have something here.

Rating: 5/10

And the one non-holiday movie I watched...

The Outwaters (2022, Tubi)

I've seen this compared to Skinamarink, which was a Skinama-snooze fest for me. The big difference is that stuff is happening in this movie to keep you interested...after you get through the opening 30 minutes of "character setup" which doesn't really matter. When things do start happening, a lot of it you can't see thanks to it being pitch black or the camera person having a flashlight with a very narrow beam but the audio more than makes up for it. The people making the movie clearly have a vision but I didn't "get" it. Then again, that's cosmic horror for you.

Rating: 6/10

 

Here's everything I watched in 2023!

 

 

 

Month Total

New: 9   Rewatch: 0

Year to Date Total

New: 100   Rewatch: 4