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Wow, you've got all kinds of things to take your hard earned paper route money here!
- Not only can you get your High School GED, but you get a ring too!
- 100 back issue comics for just $10. Probably junk no one would voluntarily buy.
- FREE book on muscle building. Is it me or does that guy look like Schwarzenegger?
- Your poetry set to music
- The ubiquitous X-Ray Specs
- Switchblade comb. Nothing combines fun and personal hygiene like a comb made to look like a dangerous weapon! I remember teachers confiscating these at school.
- Free Clergy Ordination Credentials courtesy of the Church of the Holy Monarch.
- $3000/month to stuff envelopes at home. Are they still offering this because I could use the extra cash!
- "Genuine" Alaskan Gold Nugget, only $5!
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