I found today's nugget of Halloween gold while browsing Pinterest. It's a Halloween safety pamphlet from the Minnesota Department of Health, 1962. I'm breaking it out in sections so it's easier to see but if you want the whole thing you can find it here.
Maybe it's just my Charles Addams sense of humor but these situations, while valid concerns, could be presented a bit less morbidly. The little goblins each have their own accident and a safety tip is included so you know how to prevent said accident.
10 little goblins, feeling fit and fine...
One dashed into the street, and then there were nine.
One dashed into the street, and then there were nine.
9 little goblins spooking by the gate...
One wore dark clothes, and then there were eight.
One wore dark clothes, and then there were eight.
8 little goblins, out till nearly eleven...
One wasn't flameproofed and then there were seven.
One wasn't flameproofed and then there were seven.
"Flameproof costume by dipping into three quarts of warm water, seven ounces of borax, and three ounces of boric acid." How about just keep the kid away from open flames? Seems like a good idea year round.
7 little goblins, out for "treats or tricks"...
One wore no reflective marks, and then there were six.
One wore no reflective marks, and then there were six.
6 little goblins, laughingly alive...
One wore Mommy's dress, and then there were five.
5 little goblins, running from the door...
One was fully "armed", and then there were four.
A child should not be allowed to carry a knife or any sharp instrument. Toy weapons can be made of cardboard. Have you ever made a play sword from cardboard? They don't exactly stand up very well.
4 little goblins, spooky as could be...
One held a lighted torch, and then there were three.
Again with the fire safety? What was going in in 1960s Minnesota?
3 little goblins, costumes bright and new...
One wore too much mask, and then there were two.
2 little goblins, Halloweening nearly done...
One tripped and fell, and then there was one.
Children should be alert to hazards such as lawn furniture, steps and excavations.
I'm sorry, what? Excavations?
But there's 1 little goblin, still full of life and zest...
For he has learned, with parent's help, that safety first is best.
With parent's help and the deaths of his nine friends! DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNN!!
Okay, so maybe some of the 9 didn't die. Two caught on fire, one impaled himself, two got hit by a car, one by a bike, two tripped, and one got stuck on a fence. Still, that one last kid is pretty lucky, but I am a bit disturbed that I can't tell where his costume ends and he begins...
Maybe he's really a vengeful spirit that died years ago because his parents weren't watching him and he lured those kids to their doom with promises of pillow cases full of candy if they went Trick or Treating with him. Sounds like a good idea for a movie!
I'm sorry, what? Excavations?
But there's 1 little goblin, still full of life and zest...
For he has learned, with parent's help, that safety first is best.
With parent's help and the deaths of his nine friends! DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNN!!
Okay, so maybe some of the 9 didn't die. Two caught on fire, one impaled himself, two got hit by a car, one by a bike, two tripped, and one got stuck on a fence. Still, that one last kid is pretty lucky, but I am a bit disturbed that I can't tell where his costume ends and he begins...
Maybe he's really a vengeful spirit that died years ago because his parents weren't watching him and he lured those kids to their doom with promises of pillow cases full of candy if they went Trick or Treating with him. Sounds like a good idea for a movie!
Remember to look both ways when you go to visit all the Halloween houses by clicking the link below!
Wait... Did her mom's dress kill her?
ReplyDeleteThe safety tip warns against over sized or loose clothing as tripping hazards, although if the other kids just left her hanging on the fence...she needs new friends.
DeleteThis was incredible! I think this should be adapted and filmed as a short in some sort of Halloween anthology. This would make a great intro, like the one at the beginning of Trick 'r Treat.
ReplyDeleteI still wonder if this is legit retro or if someone made it recently to poke fun at Halloween PSAs. Either way, I love it.
DeleteHaha! This is like The Gashlycrumb Tinies! I'm also reminded of that old SNL skit with the dangerous costumes and Irwin Mainway. :) Yeah, what is up with that last kid's costume? He's like a snowman!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure it's a clown (maybe?) the weird thing is how there's no distinction between his head and the body. It's like it's one big pull-on thing.
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